Peruvian Nights and Jamaican Days

2008-08-13T16:39:00.006-06:00

BREAKING NEWS, FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF UHHHHHH....

Am I just drunk, or is there something wrong with this headline?

-m

2008-08-01T09:01:00.000-06:00

FUCKING ESRI!!!!

WORST. SOFTWARE. EVER.

-M

2008-07-11T08:54:00.002-06:00

Uh.

Hi there! My name is Mark, and welcome to Mark's Used Thoughts Emporium!

'ts been awhile.

In case you haven't been paying attention, the Americans have been tearing up the Tour de France (so far). By "Americans," I mean the two teams sponsored by American companies--not many of their riders are actually from the U.S. Though it looks like they won't have a finisher in the top 4-5 for today's stage. I guess this is day 7.

I want a road bike. Actually, I want a lightish touring bike that I could use for commuting, touring, and just plain riding. My "commute" is not so daunting that my old Trek hardtail can't handle it--1.25 miles either way, with a decent climb--but it would be more enjoyable with a smoother bike. I did add old school clips to my pedals, and added a used, but higher quality saddle. I think I will upgrade to a new saddle soon. But still, I want a touring bike.

Either of these would do nicely:

Raleigh Sojourn:

Suggested retail: $1,099

Jamis Aurora Elite:

Suggested retail: $1,350.

The Jamis has more upscale components (Ultegra and 105, vs. Deore/Tiagra/Sora for the Raleigh), and it's lighter and has a carbon fork and a better wheelset. But, the Raleigh has disc brakes, better gearing for this part of the country, is slightly cheaper, and it looks awesome with the leather saddle and bar wraps. Jamis also has a more entry-level version of the Aurora that goes for about $900 that has components similar to the Raleigh, so that's another option. I could always upgrade components later if I got serious about it.

I just need to find $1,300 lying around somewhere. We are having a garage sale tomorrow, but I doubt if it will net that much. It will probably wait until next spring, at least, because before long, the snow will be flying again, anyway.

I need to go fishing again. Last time out I got skunked, but have been consistently catching decent rainbows and brookies prior to that. I think I'll try the Little Laramie River this time. It should finally be down enough to be fishable.

Happy Friday.

-m

2008-04-24T09:44:00.004-06:00

CRISIS!!!

What crisis? The global food shortage? The global warming that is contributing to this shortage? The war in Iraq? Syria, Iran, or North Korea with nuclear weapons?

No, I am, of course, talking about HIGH GAS PRICES. Holy shit! We are now paying almost 75% of what Europe pays for gas. This is an outrage! We're goddamn Americans! It's our God-given right to have cheap gasoline so that we can drive vehicles as big as we want as much as we want without sacrificing anything important, like satellite TV, jet skis, and trampolines for our kids.

[Author's Note #1: In case you think you have mis-clicked and wound up on Bikesquatch's blog, let me assure you, you are in the correct place. It just looks like a Todd post.]

[Resume post, sans satire]

This particular video is the most ridiculous fucking thing I have seen in quite some time: http://www.yahoo.com/s/865277. It is both funny, and terribly sad, that the reporter is acting like she's reporting on some enormous catastrophe of biblical proportions and is wearing her appropriate distressed/sad face (should "biblical" be capitalized? I don't want to be disrespectful). You know that Saturday Night Live sketch where Andy Samberg suddenly runs into the frame and punches someone about to take a bite of food? I really, really wish that he would have been present in this video.

Seriously, America. It's not like you weren't warned since 5th grade that oil was not an unlimited resource. And you're seriously not feeding your kids breakfast so you can afford gas for your Yukon? Yeah. That's called abuse, and if it's true, you should be shot and your children should be turned over to someone more responsible, like the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Honestly, I bet (and hope) that this is just hyperbole, and these people think that by whining and exaggerating about all of their "sacrifices" they might summon the merciful Gods of cheap gas who will again enable their gross overconsumption. But, it could well be that some people are actually not feeding their kids so they can feed their cars. They're probably more willing to forgo breakfasts for their kids than forgo having digital cable with 145 channels.

And the guy that said he was not going to church as often because it's 30-40 miles away and gas is too expensive.... Good excuse--does your wife actually believe that? Because, you know what? This is America--you can't throw a rock without it ricocheting off of three churches and landing in the parking lot of another. There's probably one on the same block where this guy lives that is 99% the same as the one he's driving to. Each protestant church I've ever been to (at least 10 that I can think of off the top of my head) was nearly identical to all the others, in terms of message. The only real difference is the preacher talks a little louder in some than in others. Oh. And some of them hate gay people more than the others. I think there is just something in American culture that says that everything that's important and everything you need is a 40 minute car trip away. Anything closer than that is tacky.

Speaking of religion and gas prices, I heard a story about folks are being urged to "Pray at the Pump" for lower gas prices. It's not that ridiculous. I think God cares exactly as much about how much you're paying for gas as he cares about the outcome of sporting events.

It's about time for stupid people to start forwarding emails about boycotting this or that gas station (..or have they already been doing this? I haven't gotten one in awhile. Maybe because I've put most of my aunts in my "Block Sender" list for their egregious violations of internets etiquette.).

[Author's Note # 2: The gas price story was just what set me off. There have been so many things, though, over the past few weeks that have made me so mad that it's finally come to a head. The culmination of all of this anger is that I will now no longer be referring to the inhabitants of this country as "Americans," but will henceforth refer to them collectively as "Dumbass."]

But don't worry, Dumbass. I'm here to help. I have a scam that will enable you to reduce your gas costs to miniscule amounts IMMEDIATELY. No praying involved. And it is the only method that will actually make any real and lasting difference in gas costs.

The scam goes like this:

Option 1. You walk.

For those of you who don't like that option, there is Option 2.

Option 2. You get a bike, and you fucking ride it.

Of course, I'm exaggerating by saying this is the only way to do it. You could also take the bus, the train, the subway, etc., if you live in a place so endowed. "But," you may be saying, "only poor people ride the bus." Guess what: you're poor people, Dumbass, or at least 99% of you are.

Since I dropped off the Uhaul after moving to my new house at the end of February, I have driven my truck exactly one time, and have purchased exactly $0 worth of gas for it. From the full parking lot outside my office window, I can see that most folks in this town are driving to the University, which is unfortunate, since probably 90% or more of the people that work here or go to school here live within 2 miles of the University. This town is also pancake-flat, for the most part, so almost anyone should be able to handle walking or biking a mile or two with no problem.

I know not everyone lives within 2 miles of where they work. But you know what? They could be. With a relatively limited set of exceptions, most of us make a choice about where we live. Many of us decide that it's worth it to live 40 miles from where we work, so we can get a 4,000 square foot home $10,000 cheaper than what we'd pay closer to work. Well, Dumbass, I'm here today to tell you that it may be time to re-evaluate that decision. There is never going to be any more oil on earth than there is right now. It's only going to get worse, and I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you that there is no magic bullet, nor will there ever be--no consequence-free behemoth of an SUV that runs on good vibes or prayers. There are some tough roads ahead, we will soon arrive at a place past which cars can no longer travel.

So, Dumbass, I wish you the best of luck. I'm pulling for you, I really am.

-m

2007-11-14T23:35:00.000-07:00

JALAN...

Jeezis.

You have to love a guy that can play like this, but writes songs mostly about trailer park life. So many great guitar players (e.g. Don Ross, Yngwie Mamlsteen, etc) write really elaborate songs that elaborately suck.

I like the dumbass in the front trying to clap along in this video.

-m

2007-10-07T22:11:00.000-06:00

ACT III, SCENE I

[Moves to Laramie]

End

2007-08-30T22:19:00.000-06:00

INTO THE SUNSET...

Hey! What? Uh.

OK. Moving to Laramie sometime around the second week of October. And good riddance to Kansas. Headin' to Laramie this weekend to look for housing. Not really looking forward to the actual looking part. Housing is pretty expensive, for a state with a population density almost the same as the moon. S'weird. Guess I'm not the only person who thinks it's a nice place...

I poop more than I used to. Volume-wise, and frequency-wise. Sign of impending oldness? I have 1 month left (about) until I turn 30. Don't really care, it's just a little surprising.

Anyone heard the new Mekons album? Me neither.

What else is new?

Herbert Kornfield died. Apparently. You either know who that is, or you don't.

#1 thing I never expected to hear myself say in 2007: "I miss the single ply toilet paper."

I saw where there is going to be a "Harold and Kumar, Part 2." Sweet.

I have not only given up on repairing the 1979 Honda Hobbit, I am also giving up on trying to part it out, and on trying to sell it. I have had 3 offers of $0 just today. So, all in all, it will be worth the trip Chris S. and I made down a steep, overgrown slope in the middle of the projects to get it.

I did see an ad for a Honda CB350 today. $100. Those are the best. I need one. This particular one didn't run, but apparently had all of the parts and stuff.

One of my recent hobbies is perusing the "Free" section of Craigslist. There are always some real gems there. Here is my favorite recent one:

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/zip/404530987.html

"You're giving away part of a real big head of cabbage?!?! For free!?!?"

I have like a 7 hour drive ahead of me tomorrow. I am actually looking forward to it.

-m

2007-08-26T19:23:00.000-06:00

HOMEWARD BOUND....

Some of you know all of this, some of you don't. Here it is:

On Friday, I gave notice at my job. We talked to a realtor on Friday, and have aready had one showing of our house (this morning). What happened? About 3 weeks ago (maybe a little more), I got an email from a friend (and former boss) in Laramie. He was forwarding a message from another office that is within the University of Wyoming--essentially, it was an unofficial posting for a GIS position with that office. I submitted a resume, and after some waiting due to summer down time and field work, got an offer early this week. After some negotiating, we struck a bargain, and I got an official offer letter on Friday. I bet I have checked their "jobs" page 50 times over the past 3 years, just waiting for this very job to come open, so I feel very fortunate to have had the inside track on this opening from the get-go.

The position will initially be a GIS Specialist position, but hopefully will evolve into a research associate level position, where I'm writing proposals for my own programs and projects. There's also a strong possibility that I could use some of my work projects (or perhaps some of my "leftover" thesis work) to create a PhD project, and they are very supportive of that. I'd consider that to be pretty much in line with my long-term career aspirations, and, due to some recent events at my office, don't feel very secure where I am, so we decided to take the plunge. I am so pleased to be moving back to Laramie, and getting the fuck out of Kansas. This state is just plain weird, and not in a fun way. After living here 2 years, I've concluded that living in Kansas makes you fat and stupid. It's time to leave.

So the past few days has been a flurry of "decluttering" and other things to get the house ready to show, as well as lots of internet searching for housing in Laramie. It sure is expensive there (about 20-30% more than here), so we will probably be stuck renting a smaller place initially, and saving money for a down payment. We lucked out in the fact that our home value rose around 9% the first year we lived in this house, so we are hopeful we'll get enough out of it to cover realty fees, closing costs, prorated property taxes, etc. If we can "break even" after only 2 years of living here, and get our house sold in a reasonable amount of time, I will feel fortunate. I hope it is a good sign, and not just false hope, that we had a looker already. We've also noticed several people driving by very slowly, even stopping and staring, so there is at least some interest.

My last day of work will be September 28, then my friends, Bret & Megan, are getting married October 6, so we plan to be in Laramie by mid-October. I can't wait. Of course, by then, the weather will be pleasant here, there will be a good crop of hot peppers in the garden, and it will be hard to leave our nice (and clean) house, but it will be worth it.

I think that's it....

-m

2007-07-05T10:12:00.000-06:00

TIME FOR AN UPDATE...

OK..some stuff has happened lately. Most of you already know this.

1) My wife and I had a baby. It's a boy. Henry Leopold. 8 lbs., 7 oz. He is 3.2857 weeks old. He sleeps, eats, and poops like a champ.

2) My job outlook is uncertain. Across the board, my company is low on work on-the-books. They basically laid off one guy, starting tomorrow. There's a possibility our whole office will fold. My boss said that given my situation (new dad, and stuff), he recommends I have a "backup plan." So, if you know of anyone looking for a guy with a GIS/Ecology background, lemme know. I am re-pondering going back to school for a PhD and stuff. I am thinking of the kinds of research work I could be doing, and how it would beat the pants of the stormwater management stuff I have been working on so much, lately. I also have plans to met with a few folks about possible jobs--engineering and planning companies. Mostly as a stopgap, if things fall apart here. I DO NOT want to commute 30-50 minutes each way, every day, to work at a huge engineering firm. I am looking for job postings in the following locations, basically in this order of preference:

1. A 40-mile radius area surrounding Eudora (not that I love this area--I'm just not ready to relocate yet)
2. Wyoming (top choice, if moving were no object--close to family, but spectactular, from an outdoor recreation potential perspective)
3. Idaho (like Wyoming, but more so, but farther from family, but close to Abbie)
4. Montana (like Wyoming, but more so, but farther from family)
5. Western Nebraska (cheap land/housing, family roots, no humidity, sparse)
6. South Dakota (sparse, nice landscape, etc.)
7. Western North Dakota (see South Dakota)
8. Central Missouri (good gardening potential, cheap land/housing)
9. Western Kansas (see Western Nebraska)
10. Utah (close--relatively speaking, to Peter, and beautiful, and sparse)
11. Northern Minnesota (Lakes! Fishing! Cool climate! Progressive people!)
12. Northern Wisconsin (See Minnesota)
13. Northern Michigan (See Minnesota)
14. Northern Iowa (See Minnesota, minus the lakes)
15. Canada (Like Northern Minnesota, but more so. But: Far away. Citizenship issues, and stuff.)
16. The Northeast U.S. (See Canada, without the citizenship issues)

I would probably consider any of locations 2-14 to "permanent" moves, in that they are all places I could see buying some land, building a house, planting some fruit trees, and staying til I croak.

Other possibles--portions of NE, KS, MN, WI, MI, ND, MO not named above, Illinois, Indiana (G-Had!), Colorado, Arizona (Flagstaff, basically), Alaska. These are all non-permanent, probably.

Long shots--Scandanavia, Kentucky, West Texas, New Mexico

I should just do a GIS site suitability analysis to figure out where I want to live, but it would probably give me the same list & prioritization as above.

*************************************************************

Google Desktop just sent me an alert that I have received an email in my Gmail account. It's a message I actually received December 11. Super useful.

-m

2007-05-15T22:35:00.000-06:00

FINISHING FINISHING

The headboard and footboard are DONE. Completely:

I didn't do a very good job matching the grain on the plugs that hide the screws attaching the caps to the headboard and footboard, but maybe it's sort of like the people that leave layout lines penciled on completed dovetails--to highlight the work that went into it:

The final coat of finish is now curing on the sides:

I used something called "Tried and True." It is basically a linseed oil/beeswax mix. It sure is easy to apply. Hopefully it holds up pretty well.

The next pictures I post should be of a done crib in a done baby's room...

-m

2007-04-16T11:34:00.000-06:00

HOME STRETCH...

One side glued, one to go. Here is what it will look like (minus a side, and finish):

I still need to add caps on the sides (probably, though it wouldn't matter if I decided not to, I guess). I goofed and routed a 1/8" roundover on top, so I will have to run the side panels through my tablesaw jointer jig to get rid of those, if I decide a cap is necessary. That will also make sure that the cap fits tight with no gaps. We'll see. It's pretty optional, at this point, unless I decide I want it there to reinforce the top rail where the bolt comes in (just a little more thickness surrounding that bolt).

-m

2007-04-15T19:55:00.000-06:00

GLUIN'

The first side panel is currently gluing. Those two long skinny pieces you see on either side (right and left) are not part of the crib. I think the technical, woodworky term for them is "cauls." Basically, I am using them to make sure the top and bottom rails end up square. It took a little bit of thinking to figure out how the pipe clamps needed to sit relative to each other & the wood to make it work out:

One more side to glue, then some drilling & cleanup.

-m

2007-04-14T16:15:00.000-06:00

HOME STRETCH

OK..I'm closing in on the home stretch on the crib...

I now have the cap on the footboard. If you look closely on either end, you can probably see the plugs sticking up where the countersunk screws are (it is glued along the middle and screwed & glued on the ends). I just need to flush trim those, clean up some glue squeeze out, do a final sanding, and the footboard and headboard will both be done, apart from staining/finishing.

Below is the drawing I created to help me cut parts to the right size for the sides. This is way different from the way the plans want you to make the sides, but I think this will look better, and still be strong. All those years of mechanical drafting come in handy for woodworking design. The vertical slats are mortised into the top and bottom rails. It took awhile to cut all those mortises, since it was required close to 200 holes drilled adjacent to each other, and then I had to clean each one up and size it for the rails using chisels. That is rewarding work, but a little tedious.

This is what the sides will look like. I have to glue them, which will definitely be difficult, since I have to get all those things to line up, and make some fairly large pipe clamps work, within about a 7 minute window before the glue starts setting. So I will save that for tomorrow. But this gives you an idea of how they will look:

Man. I am slow. I have probably spent 50 hours on this project so far. But, part of the time was making jigs I needed. Below is a 90° jig for my drill press. I needed this for the successive holes in the side rail mortises. I was happy because it came out exactly 90°, or at least close enough that my measuring tools couldn't detect that it was off. Once I get a big bandsaw (14"), I can also use this for resawing wider pieces, but it is too big for my current bandsaw.

Another jig I made was a jointer fence for my table saw. Actually, I made two--one that takes off 1/8", and one that takes off 1/16". The way they work is that they attach to the regular rip fence (via square head bolts that go into the slot on the stock fence), and then you slide the unit to where the blade fits in the circular cutout in the melamine. The pieces that fit behind the blade (on the bottom in this picture), are even with the blade, so that the stock gets trimmed exactly 1/16" or 1/8" by passing it by this. It works better on smaller stock that is easier to manage, not as well on large stock. But, all in all, they work surprisingly well. They are not my design--I got them out of a cool book I bought right after I got my table saw. It's not as good as a jointer, but it will get me by until I'm ready to sink $500-700 into a nice jointer. I also have a plan in my head for a jointer sled for my planer. I'll let you know how that works out.

So what remains is to sand a few pieces on the side panels, glue up the side panels, do a final sanding & glue cleanup on everything, drill some bolt holes for fastening it together, and finishing. It's within reach now--in fact, I could get most everything but the finishing done tomorrow, if I focus on it. It will be a relief to have this done. It's been fun, but I am ready to start on a new project. I also have decided that I don't like working under deadlines.

-m

2007-04-09T19:42:00.000-06:00

SIDES

OK. So it's been awhile since I've updated you on the crib progress. I haven't made that much progress, because I've been working quite a few hours (50, on average), and we did a little traveling over the holiday, and there have been other miscellaneous distractions, such as the fact that I received 75 shrubs in the mail from the Missouri Dept. of Conservation, and had to get them in the ground. Anyway, here goes...

Here is the completed headboard. I use the term "completed" loosely, because I still want to run over it with a hand sanding at 220 grit, and I have to finish it, and maybe put some felt-covered feet on the bottom, but it is pretty much done:

Also, I now have the footboard 90% done. All I need there is to clean up some glue squeeze out, and put a cap on it. I think the cap is already cut, and just needs rounded over and sanded, but I can't remember. Here's what they look like together (footboard is on right):

And, I have the sides well underway. The plans called for this to be 2 pieces of 1/4" plywood laminated together to make a solid panel. Yuck. So I stuck with the general look of the headboard & footboard, but gave it a little arts & crafts "flair." This took a little design, because it had to be as rigid diagonally as the plywood panel. So I wound up designing it with one big "slat" in the middle, and it will have 2 small ones (the size of those in the headboard) on either side. I am pretty sure the 'decorative' cutout in the larger center slat is to allow for wood movement without warping everything. Let's hope it works. Oh, these are 3/8" thick, and are set into a 1" deep mortise in the top and bottom pieces. Hopefully, when it's all glued up, it will be solid. Should be--the shear & pull-apart stresses for mortise & tenon joints is pretty incredible. This is what it will look like from the side, but without the narrower slats on either side of the wide one:

Oh. And remember when I said that the slats for the side were 3/8"? Well, so are the ones in the headboard and footboard. But, since the headboard ones are narrow (1.5" wide), I could resaw them to thickness, from 3/4", using my bandsaw. I couldn't do that with the 7 1/4" wide piece here. Yeah, I could have run it through the table saw one way, then flipped it end for end, run it through again, and cut what was left with a hand saw, but I knew this was not going to be the last time I had to deal with stock that needed to be thicknessed. So, I just went right out and bought the following item:

I say "went right out..." Those of you that know me know that I am not an impulse shopper. I researched table saws for over a year and a half before settling on the one I got. Actually, I had already decided that if I ever got a planer, it would be this one. Wood magazine had recently run a review of planers, and this was the "Best Value" out of 15 or so planers. A $550 DeWalt took the top prize, but for about 2/3 the price, this one was rated almost as good. Anyway, it works well. It pulls stuff through effortlessly, and the board that comes out is glass-smooth. It is my third Ridgid tool (table saw, shop vac). My satisfaction with the other tools definitely made me more comfortable buying this.

I already know which bandsaw and jointer I will get when the time comes. Yeah, I have a bandsaw, but it is tiny (9"), and it has started to hesitate when starting up, so I assume it won't last forever.

Thanks for listening.

-m

2007-03-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOU'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF WOODWORKING:

Well, for starters, you have completely filled a 16 gallon shop vac with sawdust and wood chips:

And for another, you have a nearly complete headboard to show for it (just need the cap):

No, the headboard is not sitting in grass. That is our downstairs shag carpet. Well, one of the 3 patches of downstairs shag carpet.

-m

2007-03-04T20:10:00.000-07:00

PROGRESS

OK. Time for my semi-regular update on crib construction...

Here's the frame for the headboard, glued & ready to go. If you look closely, you can see 4 round metal things stuck in the leg on the right. Those are what you use to adjust the height of the mattress. The are strange little threaded inserts with non-continuous threads on the outsides and regular threads on the inside. I think the theory is that the wood expands and fills in between the "threadlets" on the outside so that it stays in place when you're putting in or removing the screws that hold the mattress springs:

Here's the progress clamping the slats and slat retainers:

Here's where it sits, as of 9:19 pm tonight. Should be able to finish the headboard by Tuesday evening. I need to glue in 6 more slat retainers, and then put the cap on the top. Oh yeah. I keep forgetting I need a plug cutter so I can fill the countersunk holes in the cap ends. Oh yeah, I also just remembered it would be handy if I had a real countersink, instead of just putting in a bigger bit. Once those steps are done, the headboard will be DONE, except for finishing. It is finish sanded (220 grit), but obviously haven't stained it or anything. I'm going to use 3 coats of linseed oil and 2-3 coats of beeswax or carnuba wax. Linseed oil just brightens the wood a little--it doesn't stain the wood, really. The footboard is almost the same, except it's shorter, and has a skinnier rail at the top.

I'm pretty satisfied with the spacing. I'll end up having to special cut 2 slat retainers on each side, because I'm off about 1/8". Not too bad, considering there are 13 slats and 28 slat retainers, meaning I only got off 1/8" of an inch total in 82 cuts.

I'm feeling a little better about getting this done, but I'm starting to think about the sides now. The plans call for you to use 1/2" of oak plywood (two sheets of 1/4" plywood, laminated), but the 1/4 plywood I got was MUCH redder than the dimensional stock, so I'm thinking about using rails for the side. Also, I like the look of slats better than the solid panels. I will have to get creative, though, from an engineering standpoint. Those panels are in there to give it diagonal strength from front to back--which I would give up if I did it the same as the headboard and footboard (the slats are NOT glued, they are free so that they have room to expand/contract). The advice I got from the internet forum for the plans (I know...) was to construct the slats and the strip that holds the slats first (and screw and glue the slats in), and then glue the frame together around it. That seems risky, because I could wind up with a slat assembly that is 1/8" too short or long, which would really cause problems. I may default to the method in the plans...I was just hoping to avoid using plywood. As of now, everything is solid oak. Yeah..this thing is gonna be heavy. I'm hoping the result will be something the kid will have for the rest of their lives, and beyond.

By the way, it looks better in real life than in the images. It loses the look of the grain and the whatever-it-is-that-makes-red-oak-look-so-cool that it has in real life. Should stand out better once I put the finish on.

-m

2007-02-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

UH

What in the world is happening to the bees???

-m

2007-02-18T18:35:00.000-07:00

LEGS...

OK. Legs for the crib are nearly done. What remains is to drill some more holes, and do a final sanding. It's taking a long time, since there are lots of holes in these things, with lots of weird counterbores. This is partly so the height of the mattress can be adjusted to 4 different heights, and also partly because it requires holes in different places when set up as a crib, versus a toddler bed, versus a full-size bed. The holes not used get covered by bolt caps. My drill press doesn't have enough travel to get all the way through one of these legs in one stroke, so it's about a 5 minute process to do each counterbored hole. Once these babies are done, it should go quite a bit quicker, because the rest is mostly just cut, rout, sand...

-m

2007-02-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

LEGS...CUT

OK..Step 1: Done.

I have the legs for the crib cut to rough size (the pile on the left). 3 of these pieces get laminated to make each leg. If you do the math, you see that you then end up with 6 legs. No, this is not an insect crib. It is a "transitional" crib, which means that it goes from a crib to a toddler bed to a full size bed. The headboard is used for all 3. One footboard is used for the crib and full-size bed, and a different one (with a half rail) is used for the toddler bed. I also have the cap for the headboard, some trim pieces, and the rail top cut.

That was easy. Table saws rule. I'm not looking forward to routing the roundovers on all the pieces, and coves on a bunch more, as most of my routing experiences haven't been awesome, to date. I'm also apprehensive about cutting the dados, especially since I have to raise a whirling dado set up through a zero clearance insert the first time. I may see about borrowing a football helmet and stuff.

I am really, really, really looking forward to the weekend. I should get my new 20A line hooked up to the service panel, finally, so that I can use lights AND the table saw at the same time. That will be handier..

I guess this is becoming a blog about my woodworking projects. Well..at least it has a raison d'etre, again. I was really letting it go... Of course, I may alienate some of my old readers that don't give a damn about woodworking. OK, so that means maybe 2 people reading it, instead of 4.

-m

2007-02-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

TIME TO START ON THIS...

OK. So after a year and a half of saving and deliberation, I bought myself a table saw. It's a Ridgid TS3650. I still dream of a Powermatic PM2000, or even a Grizzly 1023SL, but I think this will be more than adequate for the short term. Here's what it looks like, pieces, to assembled, in my shop (READ: garage):

Here's the reason I got the saw: the pile of wood below, if all goes according to plan, will, by June 15, have arranged itself into a crib. It will also be set up such that it can turn into a toddler bed and full-sized bed by changing out a few parts.

The second piece from the top in the picture above is from Home Despot. I was afraid I was going to have to go there once a week for 3 months to pull the best stock out so I would have enough to work with. Moreover, HD charges about $6/board foot for red oak. Dang. But, I found a hardwood dealer down in Pomona, KS, who resells hardwoods from a sawmill in MO, as well as some exotics. He is a farmer, and part time lumber dealer, and he sells red oak for $2.95/board foot. So my total wood bill for this project will be somewhere around $200, rather than $400. Yeah, it's probably about as expensive as buying a crib, but it will be mostly solid red oak (with some 3/4 oak plywood), and it will also be a toddler bed and full bed for the same price.

Actually, with a little searching, it looks like an equivalent thing would cost around $400, and that only transitions to a "day bed," not a full-size. Plus, it was a really good excuse to buy a table saw, and a dado set. Having the table saw will make this a BILLION times easier. Before, I would have had to use my bandsaw, which is mostly made of aluminum and plastic, and had no rip fence, so resawing meant fiddling with clamping pieces of melamine (for flatness) to create a fence, clamping homemade feather boards to hold the wood in, and walking it through, with Jen catching it on the other end. It was really, really inaccurate, and I always would up with uneven edges.

I modified my workbench, which you can see in pictures 1, 2, and 4 above, so it is 1/4" lower than the table saw's table, so I can use it as an outfeed table. Wasn't as hard as I thought it might be. It took me about 3 hours to cobble that bench together the first time (from an old wooden desk which had had its legs cut off), but it took me less than an hour to get the height adjusted & get it shored up again. I think I am getting faster with all of this stuff.

Oh, I also ran some NM 12-2G from my service panel out to the garage. I'm waiting for guidance from a co-worker before I put in the breaker & hook up the cable, but the outlet is wired and ready to go. The saw, combined with the lights, was too much for 1 - 20A breaker. Hopefully this one is enough. Apparently, that 13A motor can draw as much as 100A when it is first starting. The existing cable to that outlet was inadequate, anyway, because it was a 14-3 AWG tied to 12-2 hooked to a 20A breaker. Duh! Now I'm noticing several other 14-3 and 14-2s tied to 20A breakers because people were so lazy they just tied into junction boxes that were fed by 12-2 hooked to 20A. So that is bugging me, and I will probably have to put in a couple more 15A breakers and run some new 14 to tie into those that are snaking all over the house. I also invested in an outlet tester, and discovered that none of the 3-prong receptacles are actually grounded, except a handful. I have lots of electrical work to do... I feel like the person who did the inspection on our house and signed off on the electrical should have to pay for all of that stuff. Bastard...

-m

2007-01-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

CHUTES TOO DEPRESSED

Why does the new The Shins album sound like it could be the new The Cure album?

I'm not complaining, I'm just confused. It sounds pretty good, I have to say.

Nominees for my favorite albums of 2006:

-Maritime, We the Vehicles
-M. Ward, Post - War
-Robyn Hitchcock, Ole! Tarantula
-TV on the Radio, Return to Cookie Mountain
-Belle & Sebastian, The Life Pursuit
-Kreg Viesselman, The Pull

I almost said Takk... by Sigur Ros, but I double-checked and it was September of '05. Duh.

If pressed, I would call We the Vehicles my favorite, with The Pull a close second. I haven't yet worked my way totally through The Onion's Best of '06 List, which is usually how I learn about the great stuff I have missed during the year, so it's likely I will find some other favorites. I have not yet been able to listen to Midlake's '06 album, and somehow, I have not listened to the new one by Lambchop, either. That's on my list of stuff to do...

-m

2006-12-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

TONGUES O' FUN

OK. I apologize for not having kept in better contact with my friends out there in inner-net land. This is what I have been working on:

These are called "tongue drums." They are made of red oak, and at about 12" by 8" x 6", they are pretty heavy. The mallets are oak dowels with bouncy balls glued to the end (the "sawdust" created by drilling holes in 8 multi-colored bouncy balls is pretty sweet).

It's a very simple instrument that, apparently, was made from hollow logs in the olden days. Basically, it sounds like a wooden xylophone. The tough part was cutting the "tongues" in the top. Otherwise, it's pretty much just a wooden box, with some internal bracing. If I could play them, in any musical sense of the word, I would record a snippet and place it here, but instead, you can go here and hear a sample. This guys' have a little cleaner sound, though overall, I am pretty pleased. I was worried about not getting joints as tight as they needed to be, and ending up with lots of vibration. There isn't really any of that, so long as they are sitting on a relatively soft surface. I think mine are tuned roughly to D Pentatonic Minor, though I admit I only half know what that means/sounds like.

Oh yeah--in case you're asking why I made 4 of them--they are gifts for my nieces and nephew. I am happy to be out from under that particular set of projects, though I did enjoy it. Now I need to get started on a crib..

Oh yeah--and in the first picture, yes--the drum is sitting on a toilet with a sheet draped over it.

More posts to follow, including pics of my guitar's busted innards.

-m

2006-12-08T19:14:00.000-07:00

MBTI

I am an ENTJ.

Just in case you were wondering. I bet most of you wouldn't have guessed the 'E'--I might not have either.

-m

2006-11-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

NEWS FLASH

Hello any people in the cyberweb.

I hereby announce today that my wife and I are expecting and so therefore June 15 or thereabouts I will be a Papa.

Possible names:

-Orville Redenbacher Andersen
-Chester Fried Andersen
-Dweezil
-Punkin

We dont know yet if it's a boy or girl. Everyone seems to be leaning boy (not preference-wise, but prediction-wise). I don't give a hoot either way. I think Orville Redenbacher could make a good girl's name, too.

Heard the little bugger's heart beating last week-166 beats/minute, which is normal, apparently.

I think I need a vacation.

-m

2006-10-29T21:37:00.000-07:00

NANO

Dammit. So, my plan was to work on a post-apocalyptic romantic western comedy for NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month). Then, with only 2 days left until the start of the month, I find out that Cormac McCarthy just put out a post-apocalyptic, diasporic novel.

Like Bennett, I have always been a sucker for post-apocalypse stories--The Stand, Good News, Z for Zachariah, and so on. Not to mention all of the movies--"Terminator," "Mad Max," etc. I'm not sure if the market can support 2 Book-of-Revelations-come-true novels in the same year, let alone the same economic quarter. It would be like if someone made a big Truman Capote movie last year, and then someone went and made another big Truman Capote movie this year.

Ideas? I'm listening. Caller go 'head....

-m

2006-10-26T10:16:00.000-06:00

NANOWRIMO

Only 6 days left until NANOWRIMO!

-m

2006-10-16T20:01:00.000-06:00

MORE PHOTOS

I uploaded more Red Desert trip photos to Flickr.

-m

2006-10-15T17:17:00.000-06:00

TECHNOLOGY.....GOOD?

Finally, someone has made good use of technology. I'ma get me one of these. If only they'd make one that works on cell phones...

-m

2006-09-29T17:55:00.000-06:00

What I did for my summer vacation: a pictorial

So...since I have slacked lately, this is how I spent my summer:

We started by getting our vegetable garden in. It looked cool at first, but soon got dried out and weedy. We had almost no rain this year:

Then, I went catfishing with my dad. We caught some stuff, including a nice catfish...

...and an evil gar...

Then I went to my 10 year reunion....

...where I had some whisky. And stuff.

Then we planted lots of wildflowers in our butterfly garden, like Wild Bergamot (Monarda fistulosa)...

...and Snow-on-the-Mountain (Euphorbia marginata)..

...and Ironweed (Vernonia baldwinii)...

....and butterfly milkweed (Asclepias tuberosa)....

...and we finished planting our rain garden, and put in a little swale to connect it to our downspout...

...and we finally finished the living room window, with new trim around, including tile...

...and finally got the garage/shop in order so I can do woodworking..

...and installed some hillbilly track lighting (old curtain rod + fluorescent bulbs)...

...and I got a new miter saw...

It has been awesome to have the saw. I finally have a way to square the ends of a board. I can cut a 6" board if I put another 2x6 under it, so the blade will go through...

I'm also dreaming of getting a table saw. Grizzly tempts me. They seem like the best saws for less money. I dont know if I want to buy the base-type model:

...the step up (cast-iron wings and better fence)..

...or the big step up..

The 1023 (the last one) has gotten "best saw," or at least, "best budget saw" designation from all the major woodworking magazines. There are lots of flavors of it - with 70" rails, with 44" rails, with built in router table, left-tilt, right-tilt, 3 hp, 110/220, single-phase/triple-phase. I would like to get a model with no fence, and a built-in router table, then get an Incra fence. Those things look sweet.

OK. That's it..

-m

2006-08-13T20:48:00.000-06:00

'S ME AGAIN

Howdy. So much I haven't said...

1) Good riddance to Joe Lieberman.

2) Israel, Hezbollah has killed 163 of your people, you have killed 1,000 Lebanese (http://www.moiz.ca/coffin.htm), only a portion of which were Hezbollah. You have also destroyed infrastructure such that innocent Lebanese will suffer for years to come, and you have also caused an enormous oil spill that will cripple fishing and tourism industries for years to come. Enough is enough. Knock it off.

3) Google is now giving away a "lite" version of SketchUp. Wow.

4) Blister beetles got my pumpkins. Dammit.

5) Superman Returns. Meh. I think that if Bryan Singer would have just done the 3rd X-Men movie instead, both movies would have benefited.

6) Is the Mission Accomplished yet?

That's all that comes to mind.

-m

2006-06-13T20:51:00.000-06:00

DESERT PICS

The first batch of my Red Desert pictures is now viewable here.

Flickr only allows uploading 2 GB per month or something. So...check back around mid-July for more..

-m

2006-06-12T17:03:00.000-06:00

REUNION

Howdy..here goes...

Last week was my high school reunion. Overall, a good time. The turnout was lackluster, at best. Of course, I was not present for the tomfoolery at Gibb's, nor was I present at the new high school tour, nor the Bar-B-Q. So it goes. I hope I didn't miss any Fairbury brand hot dogs.

I did attend the dinner Saturday night in the Primavera Room at Valentino's. Andy M, who used to work at Valentino's, added even more to the ambiance of that classy joint when he pointed toward the restroom in the corner and said, "that's where I used to take dumps." The food was decent, but NOT worth $18 per plate. Oh well. I won the award for Most Interesting Job, or something like that. Only because Lindsey C. nominated me, because I had told her before that I was working on a NASCAR pit crew, or farming rutabagas, or something. For some reason, when they announced my name, I stood up and just started talking and talking like an idiot. Not about my job or anything. Well, I did say that I was an ecologist, and that I count birds. Later, at the bar, people that hadn't been at the dinner told me they heard I was studying dirt in Montana. K. The other classy thing about the Val's dinner was that you had to bring your own wine or beer. Me & moon left and got some Busch Light or something, which made the meal seem all the more classy.

As I alluded to, most folks went to the bar after the dinner. Risky's. It's a bar in the old Kmart. It was actually a decent bar. I sat near where the ladies underpants used to reside. Bennett was there. I talked to quite a few folks. Many of whom I never really talked to in high school. Kendra had after-hours at her parent's house. Weird. It was NOT the same assemblage of people you would have seen hanging out at Kendra's parents house 10 years ago. Not even close. But it was fun, and all got along well. Did I mention I had lots of adult beverages? Beers, martini, whisky. I think I stayed out until 4. I felt tired Sunday. So it goes.

People I didn't get a chance to talk to, but wish I would have: Angela I., Justin J. Dan H., and many others. I talked to Bonahoom, but not as much as I'd have liked to. Same with Moon, and Jeff C. Kendra and I kept getting 5 words into a conversation before someone else hopped in and started talking. So it goes. Tim E. and I fell into a lengthy conversation about Resource Optimization Theories of Dumpster Diving. That guy is smart.

Several people's necks seem to have disappeared. Not that many people got real fat. Or maybe those people just didn't show up. Nobody but me had a beard. A few got a little bald. So it goes.

'Tiska, remind me to send more details & stuff.

This evening I worked more on the stone path in my yard. I've been picking up limestone from the side of the road, or from developments, or wherever, and slowly building a path. OK, very slowly. Rocks are heavy.

Now would be the time for me to reflect on how I've changed, etc. I don't really feel motivated, though. OK, maybe not that much has changed.

Sometimes, I sit down to write, and great stuff happens. Usually, this happens.

So it goes.

-m

2006-05-31T21:03:00.000-06:00

DEZZERT

OK. Just got back from vacation. Spent about a week and a half tooling around Wyoming. Started by camping near the Medicine bows, then visiting our friend Bob in Saratoga, where he took us trout fishing and stuff. Then went out west to the area some call the Red Desert. Basically, it encompasses a big area surrounding the Great Divide Basin, with Rock Springs on the west, Lander on the North, Rawlins on the east, and Coloraddy on the south. Crazy places. Sweetwater Canyon, Oregon Buttes, Jack Morrow Hills, The Pinnacles, Honeycomb Buttes, Killpecker Dunes, Boars Tusk, Kinney Rim, Adobetown. Some were more than 50 miles from the nearest town, and close to that from any paved roads. Honeycomb Buttes and Adobetown were amazing. Weird erosional features and stuff. I will post some pictures as I get time - hopefully with a quicker turnaround than the Europe photo posting.

For now, here is a sampling:

Sitting on my bum at Killpecker Dunes, with Boars Tusk in the background..

Sunset over sagebrush-juniper scrubland near Flaming Gorge

Sunset over Meeboer Lake, in the Laramie Basin

Indian Paintbrush, near Flaming Gorge

The Red Valley, south of Lander

Me & the dog (Fargo) at one of many cool sandstone features at Honeycomb Buttes

Obligatory bleached skeleton picture in the deserts of Adobetown

Interesting formation in Adobetown (those spires are about 75' high)

More photos, and details, to follow..

-m

2006-05-04T21:17:00.000-06:00

BUSH BOBBLE

OK...If you've been a regular reader here, you've heard me say (er..write) that I feel strongly that the most important and interesting art that is being done right now is interactive, internet-based playthings such as this:

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

This is totally weird, but strangely satisfying. If he gets stuck, click and drag him free with your mouse. Totally mesmerizing...

-m

2006-04-23T18:02:00.000-06:00

GITTAR

So I finally bought myself a guitar. I've had a guitar before - in fact, I've had several. Two belonged to my uncle, one belonged to Jen, and one was sitting in a closet in an apartment Jen moved into in Maryville, when she first moved out of the dorms. All of them were junk. The nicest was the old Harmony from my uncle. It was old enough that it was from a time when Harmony wasn't a totally wretched brand. We pawned Jen's guitar, because it buzzed, and it was a heavy, laminated piece of crap. I gave the older Harmony back to my uncle ages ago, and I think I sold the Synsonics electric (yes, the kind you can buy from the JC Penney Wishbook) at a garage sale. All told, I've been in possession of at least one guitar at any given time for the last 8 or 9 years, but I've never had my own guitar that I purchased for myself. Too cheap, and also have never felt like I was good enough to warrant purchasing a nicer one.

But I finally bought one after searching around for a few months - an Epiphone C40:

Got it at a pawn shop. I've been leery of Epiphones in the past, since my uncle cautioned me against getting one in 2000 or something. But this one has a pretty nice sound. At least it doesn't buzz like every other one has (except the Old Harmony).

Yes, it's a classical guitar. Yes, it has nylon strings. Cedar top, mahogany neck, rosewood fingerboard. Solid wood. Made in Korea in 1990. I've been wanting to learn how to read music for guitar. I could read music well with my trumpet, and did OK with piano, but I haven't made the effort with guitar, before now. G-Had has even offered to provide me with some custom lessons - lesson 1 is to learn Greensleeves, which he transcribed into both standard notation and tab (in like 5 minutes - genius!).

Epiphones seem like a crapshoot, because I played 2 Epi Hummingbirds and a couple of other Epiphones at Musician's Friend, and they were crap. Of course, maybe that's why they were at the Musician's Friend clearance center. Doy.. I would still consider an Epiphone Les Paul, in blue, of couse, since they're about 1/3 the price of a Gibson LP, and the sound and quality generally seems pretty good:

I think I need to practice scales and stuff. I can limp through Greensleeves, but I'm cheating (tab), not reading the music. It will be a process, but I feel like it's something I want to commit an effort to.

-m

2006-04-21T11:15:00.000-06:00

MOVIETIME

So, saw V for Vendetta last night. Good movie. Pretty brave, too. Making a hero out of a "terrorist." Fun stuff. Angry, screaming, hate-mongering "news" show hosts that are a mouthpiece for power-hungry conservative extremists, discrimination, a goverment that uses a color-coded warning system to generate fear and compliance amongst its citizenry, an ill-advised war that spreads beyond political boundaries in a cascading snowball of unintended consequences....it's all so far-fetched..where do they come up with this stuff?!?

There were about 5 people in the theatre, apart from us. One was an elderly couple. The guy was wearing overalls. I wonder what he thought of the movie.

-m

2006-03-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

Guitard

How to select an acoustic guitar, courtesy of G-Had:

1. Intonation: Play the harmonic at the 12th fret, and then play the note at
the 12th fret. Do this on all strings. If *any* string sounds different (they should be the same note), put that guitar away, you won't get proper intonation. Use a tuner if you don't trust your ears (but note that how hard you press the string at the 12th fret can bring it in or out of tune - do what is natural and try this with a friends high-end guitar first if you want to see what is possible, like a Gibson, Taylor, or Martin.)

2. Check string height: I happen to like fairly low action on my guitars, because I do not have a rough right hand technique. (To put it simply, I play lightly, it has been a problem at times). I like the strings only high enough so that they don't buzz, which leads us to...

3. Frets: Make sure the frets are nice and even along the edge of the fretboard. I don't like them to feel sharp or anything - if I run clothe along the edge (like a shirt sleeve), it should not get caught up! Look closely at the frets, if the crown (top) is thicker on some frets than others than you know that the frets were laid out on an uneven fretboard and then leveled out until they were the same height - the luthier should then recrown every fret so that the tops look even. On a cheaper acoustic, this will usually *not* be the case, so an uneven fretboard is indicated by some frets having to be leveled down more than others. Look at a Taylor if you want to really see what frets should look like (I gotta get me one of them!). Play EVERY note from the 1st fret to the 13th fret on each string. None of them should buzz.

4. Dead notes: Play each string open, they should ring out about the same. Now check each note, for what you want to do, you only need to check for this on the first 5 frets. (If you were plunking $1,000-2,000, then that would be different.) Sometimes, by accident, the harmonics of a string get canceled out by guitar construction. The best way to test this is to play the 1st fret, then the 2nd fret and notice if one is not as loud. Compare each fret only with it's neighbor. Don't compare the 1st fret with the open string, though - those will never ring the same. You might think this is picky, but if you happen to have a dead note on the third fret of the 5th string (C), then this will bug you. Chances are pretty good that you won't find one - so don't think you are doing anything wrong at this stage if
nothing appears.

Most importantly, if any sales staff are watching you, you will REALLY look like you know what you are doing and intimidate them. If they don't know anything, then you look like you are searching for mojo or something. If they do know a thing or two, they will appreciate what you are doing.

5. Neck: Hold the guitar up like a shotgun and stare up the neck from the saddle to the nut. There is a gentle curve to a guitar neck, and you shouldn't see any twisting. If there was, steps 1-4 probably would have weeded that guitar out.

6. Body/Construction: The lighter the guitar, usually the better. The strings don't do all the work, the whole guitar vibrates and produces sound on the sound board. A heavy solid-wood guitar means that the bracing is too thick, or there is too much glue. Of course, you are not interested in a laminate guitar (plywood) - you want a solid top sides and back. (Personally, I don't care if the neck/headstock are constructed from more than one piece of wood). Try to guess where some of the bracing is under the sound board and tap rather hardly with the side of your thumb. The guitar should not "knock back," indicating something is loose under there.
I had a classical guitar that had this problem.

7. Finish: I am not too concerned about the finish of a guitar. The more you play it, the more dings and scratches it will get. It is for making music, and not art. I don't even get upset when one of of the kids in the youth guitar group bangs their tuning peg against my $1,500 Martin. I have about 5 or 6 dings in the soundboard since I started teaching them on Sunday nights. Better than having the guitar stay in the case. Use this last area only to determine which of the remaining 2-3 guitars (out of 10-12 possibly) you should choose.

Thankee..

-m

2006-02-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

WHERE ME AT?

I'd like to start this post by apologizing to those of you I haven't contacted in awhile. It's not for a lack of wanting to. Things come up, time slips away, and so on - you know how it goes. I have been thinking of you, it's just that...

Early this month, my grandpa, who was in the hospital recovering from surgery, had a severe stroke. I heard about it at about 10 pm on a Tuesday night. The doctors didn't give him much of a shot of recovering. I packed my stuff, and set off into the night. I made it to the hospital the next morning, after a brief stop at my mom's, who rode with me the rest of the way (total, about a 7 hour trip). I was determined to see him, even though it meant missing deadlines and meetings I had at work. When we arrived, he opened his eyes, and I think saw us. But, he was more or less unresponsive. I stayed with him for several days - mostly just watching him, holding his hand, or doing some of the caretaking things the nurses weren't doing a very good job with. Occasionally, he would squeeze my hand when I asked him to, so I think he knew I was there. By Friday evening, there hadn't been any real change in his condition, so I decided to go home for a day or two. I got regular reports for the next few days, and it seemed like there was little change. On February 11th, sometime mid-afternoon, he passed away. His death was 5 months to the day after my grandma's death, and, interestingly, it was on my grandma's birthday.

Those of you who know me well know that I was pretty close to these grandparents. I could say alot about them - how I had so many things in common with them, how I enjoyed having whiskey toddies with my grandpa, how great it was to get to know a different side of them as I became an adult... I'll just say that I will miss them both an awful lot.

So..that happened. And then:

My mom has been seeing this guy for awhile now. I knew about it, but she had never said anything about it to me directly - just that she had a "friend" from work. So my mom calls last night, and asks if I'm tired of getting bad news from her (Grandma, Grandpa, my brother-in-law's alcoholism, etc..), and I say "yes." So she tells me that she got engaged. I said, "I'll be damned," because how else are you really supposed to react? It's pretty weird. I've been pestering my mom to come visit us for months, but now I'm afraid she will bring her fiance (it's so weird saying that). That's just plain creepy. I havent met the guy yet and I'm not sure I want to. I'm at a loss as far as how to react to it, but I have decided this:

If she does visit, and she brings her...brings this dude..they will not be allowed to sleep in the same bedroom. It will be the same rule that applied to Jen and I at my parents house before we were married. How about them apples?

That about brings us up to date. Who needs a drink?

I know the rest of you all have things going on too, so I apologize for the fact that I've been so lame about keeping in touch.

I think that's all I have. Oh, wait...X Out of Wonderland is excellent, and you should all read it.

I'll leave you with one question to ponder:

In all of the world, in all of history, in all of everything we understand that has, does, or will exist, has there ever been anything more nauseating than Drew Barrymore?

-m

2006-01-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

OK. Hi there. My name is Mark. Miss me?

Well. OK. So. It's been well over a month since I last blogged. Anything happen since then. Nope.

I started to type a whole bunch of stuff explaining why I hadn't typed anything, then realized that was lame, and would make for more dull reading than no post at all, so I axed it.

Those of you who were paying attention will notice that my "Currently Reading" heading has stayed the same (Catch-22), whereas my "Last Read," shifted from God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater to One Man's Wilderness. Yes, I got distracted, and set Heller aside. I think I like the book fine, but it's a slow read, especially at 1-2 hours per week. I'm trying to figure out why I was so much more productive (reading, writing, beermaking, woodworking, exercising, arting, thesising, as well as doing my share of the housework) when I was in grad school and felt like I worked on my thesis constantly than now, when I'm working ~45 hours/week, hardly exercising, and basically doing squat for housework. I guess homeowner projects suck alot of time, and energy.

Anyways, I'm still alive. I wish I had something to blog about, but I don't.

-m

2005-11-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

BIRDIE FLU

I went out to visit my grandpa over Thanksgiving. We had some whiskey toddies, as usual. I raked and burned some leaves. I saw a dead bird hanging out of the purple martin feeder, and now I have cold-like symptoms.

I also played badminton with my cousin's son, who is like 9. We didn't have a net, so we used some shrubs along the property boundary in my grandpa's yard. I am scratched up all over because of all the birdies I had to retrieve from the middle of the shrubs. Some call them shuttlecocks.

I've been asked to post a picture of mysef in my underwear. Someday. Someday. I'm sure it would increase my site traffic exponentially.

Life is boring.

-m

2005-11-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

THE UNION FOREVER..

Golly. I've been neglecting this thing. Nothing to say? Well, maybe. More, though, that my work days are kind of a frenzy from start to finish. Not always, but just about never have much down time. We have to track "billable hours," which means I have to put 28 hours per week toward work that we get paid for. The rest of the time can be administration (everything from fixing computer problems, managing files, emailing clients and co-workers) to marketing (finding more billable work). It hasnt been hard for me to meet that goal. They're finding that I'm kind of a generalist, and am relatively adaptable, so I do everything from bird counts to stormwater management plans to GIS work. So..I pick up lots of work from just about everyone, and my billable hours average more like 35 per week. Of course, I do that parly by working 45-50 hours per week, on average. I hope that will change. I also hope there's enough billable work for me this winter, when the slow period hits. I'm sure there will be, but I assume I'll be doing more marketing and admin., so my current 17% over my billable goals will probably drop quite a bit.

In other news, Fargo went for his first swim last week. I'll try to share pictures soon. He had a good time - he went almost 100 yards out into the lake before he finally turned around. We were a little concerned he'd never come back. He's doing well. Still hardly ever barks, except at mysterious noises. He has some kind of stomach problem now - maybe just a nervous stomach. But he has medicine (Prilosec, Amoxicilin, etc.), so hopefully that corrects things.

I'm building a compost bin. Cedar. 4' x 8', with 2 bins (as per G-Had's recommendations).

I tore up the carpet in my living room, and found a (mostly) beautiful oak floor underneath. Needs some repairs. I also need to put trim (baseboards and crown molding) up in the living room and hallway. Kinda procrastinating on that because it's doable in the winter. Other projects coming up: erecting my shed, organizing the garage so I have some working space, build a chair and ottoman, coffee table, bookshelf. Replacing our living room windows (sill is rotted, and it's so expensive to replace just the sill, that we're going to do windows while we're at it).

Abbie came to visit for almost a whole week last week. Unfortunately, I was out of town for work for 2 1/2 of those days, so didn't get to hang out with her alot. We did have a bit of a shindig at our house while she was here, with our new friends from Kansas. Was pretty good times. Got a keg, played pool, listened to music, debated about tree species, etc. Abbie gave me a union suit for my birthday:

I've been wearing it a fair amount, since it got cold here, finally. I wore it under my overalls while I was doing some woodworking (I felt like a pioneer). I also wear it to bed. Instead of a button-down flap in the back, it just has an opening, not unlike that in the front of a pair of boxers. I am NOT brave enough to try to poop through that little hole.

Snowed yesterday. About 2 months behind our first snow last year in Laramie. Dang hot climate.

Probably stuff I haven't covered. That's what comes to mind.

-m

2005-11-07T13:33:00.000-07:00

UH.

Sweet!

-m

2005-10-21T09:29:00.000-06:00

SALARY

I wonder what the history of the salary system is.. I wonder if it was initially designed as a way to exploit workers for more hours than standard without having to pay overtime, or if has just evolved to be that...

I think there should be requirements about how people advertise salaries. Here's what I think: I think that if the hours required of someone will be more like 50 or 60 hours a week, the advertised salary should be modified to reflect that. For example, if the salary they are going to pay is 40,000, but you will be expected to work 55 hours per week (not at all uncommon for professional positions, it seems), then the salary they advertise should be adjusted using a ratio of the expected hours to the "standard" 40 hours, so the salary they advertise would have to be $29,090. I think that would be a more realistic picture. I'd rather work 40 hours per week for 35,000 than 55 hours for 40,000, wouldn't you?

-m

2005-10-18T07:21:00.000-06:00

ECUADOR

Last night, after putting Fargo to bed, I started reading Galapagos, by Kurt Vonnegut. Man. Whoever referred to him as a "postmodern Mark Twain" was spot-on. I wish I could write like Kurt Vonnegut. He certainly must be the greatest author alive. I say "must be" because I haven't read everything, but I certainly haven't read anyone better.

One might only wish such a brilliant author was as prolific as so many non-brilliant authors (such as, for instance, Mary Faulkner - not that I've actually read any of her 904 novels, but I'm sure they're about as well written as the humorous instruction manuals that accompany cheap items made in China).

Certainly, he has been productive, but I'm afraid his 17-some novels aren't enough to hold me for more than another 5 years or so. Sure, there are lots of non-fiction pieces, and short stories, but the novel is where he really shines. His essays are a whole other beast. Kind of like a hippo. Powerful, impressive, but comical.

OK. I didn't really have anything to say. If you have never read Vonnegut, then get with it.

-m

2005-10-17T20:17:00.000-06:00

NEW DOG

Hey. We got a dog. This is him:

His name is Fargo, and he is awesome. He never barks, except when the dumb growly neighbor's dumb growly dog barked at him, and then he barked once. One bark. Otherwise, he's just a totally mellow guy, who follows you around and wants to know if you're doing anything interesting. He's good at entertaining himself though. He weighs 53 pounds, which is pretty skinny for a dog of his height. We're going to fatten him up some. Today had a lot of firsts for him - first time "off the reservation," (i.e. the pound), first time in a car, first time in a house, first time in a kennel, etc. He was a little nervous getting in the truck, a little nervous on the ride, a little nervous going up and down our deck stairs (they are pretty steep, and a little spooky in the dark), but he did really well. We got him a crate, so that it's easy to housebreak him and stuff, but I doubt if he'll even need to be in it much, since he's so well behaved.

Also, note my receding hairline in the first picture. I'm 28. All my body parts seem to function just fine. I like to take naps, and my hair is falling out. Fine.

-m

2005-10-09T20:24:00.000-06:00

FORTUNATE FORTUNE

Today, my fortune from the Chinese buffet read as follows:

"Any day above ground is a good day."

Sounds right to me.

-m

2005-10-04T11:16:00.000-06:00

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, BATMAN!

Hum is playing another reunion show (last one was in '03 (missed it). This one: October 15, Champaign, Illinois, at the Highdive, tickets free. Gee whiz. Might have to alter my schedule to make that one....

Probably like my #2 favorite band ever.

-m

2005-09-27T13:27:00.000-06:00

OH

I forgot the whole reason I was going to blog. I felt the need to clear something up. It's not that I don't believe in any God. I just don't believe in The God. You know, the omnipotent, omniscient dude that sits around on clouds and designs things intelligently (if you live in Kansas). Don't care a lick for that guy.

I won't go into details about my philosophy, as it would take pages, and not be very interesting, and also, I'm not sure I've actually developed it yet. I just didn't want to leave the impression that I was some sort of brash, unspiritual heathen.

-m

2005-09-27T12:55:00.000-06:00

KEYBOARDS N STUFF

I think I'm going to learn Dvorak. Maybe it will deter those who like to work on my work computer when I'm gone, and leave my work area junked up, and my computer acting a little funny. They say it takes about 1 month of full-time usage to get to where you're as fast with Dvorak as with QWERTY. If it's good enough for Jared Diamond, it's good enough for me.

In other news, Jen got canned. Stupid job anyways.

In other news, moved into our new house.

In other news, our neighbors are REALLY friendly. We've had 2 offers of riding mower usage, after people saw Jen mowing with our Ward Cleaver mower.

In other news, still have 4-5 loads of shiite at our other place. Including our shed. No, not stuff in a shed, our actual, disassembled shed.

Finally, I'm very embarrased to admit I was fooled by Hi5... I entered my Yahoo username, etc., so it could "See which of my contacts were already connected." Well, before I realized what was happening, I had sent an invitation to EVERYONE in my address book. Including lots of professional contacts. Man. I get dork points for that one.

I probably get some for even talking about Dvorak vs. QWERTY.

"In a hundred years, we'll all be dead. Good!" (Edward Abbey)

-m

2005-09-12T20:18:00.000-06:00

LOTS OF STUFF

Well. Badness. My grandma passed away on Sunday. It's tough on all of us - her kids, grandkids, and especially my grandpa. I don't know what he will do without her. He has a hard time keeping his medication straight, and shouldn't really be driving more than a few blocks or so. We're all glad that she isn't suffering anymore. But it's tough to lose one as cool as she was. I think I've only cried 3 times since I was about 12 or so. I just don't do it. Last night, I cried harder, and for longer, than I have in over 15 years. It sucks, alot. But, I know that my Grandma wouldn't want us to be sad. Life is poopy sometimes, but I try to think about how lucky I was to have known my grandma as well as I did. I feel better about things today - happy that she went so peacefully, etc.

Still, it's a good thing I don't believe in God, because I would want to kick his ass right now, and that's probably worse than not believing in him.

Different stuff: we closed on our house today. It went fine. We took some stuff to our new place, cleaned some stuff up, played a game of pool, and even christened the joint with sips from a fairly swanky bottle of anejo tequila.

-m

2005-09-07T21:18:00.000-06:00

AIN'T IT THE TRUTH...

Uh............I'm really hoping that this is just an error on Yahoo's part (click to enlarge, if you can't read it):

Then again, as well as we've been doing with getting help for Katrina victims, it's probably about right....

-m

2005-09-06T19:03:00.000-06:00

CHEEZ WHIZ!

[says Celine Dion] (you either saw it or you didn't)

Things:

Who remembers what rock'n'roll is? Answer: Conner does. Who the crap is Conner, you ask? Conner is a Lawrence-based band (though they play shows all over the U.S.) that includes a guy I went to high school with, Phil Bonahoom. He's the bassist. As I recall, he also played electric bass guitar in high school pep band, which ought to hint at how cool he is. He's also the brother of a guy who was one of my closest friends throughout junior high and high school, Nick. Anyway, man, they kicked ass. I liked them much better than the 2 acts that followed them. Much better. For a preview of their music, go to their website.

With most local bands, there is typically one of two situations: 1) you can point at one guy and say, "that's the guy that makes the band; or 2) you can point at one guy and say, "that's the guy who is holding them back." You really can't say either about Conner, as far as I'm concerned. In particular, their drummer kicks ass all over the place, and their guitarist is awfully good, but of course, so is Phil, and so is their lead singer. Conner is also one of those bands that is better live than on album, even though the recordings I've heard are also pretty doggone good.

Um. So where else was I going with this. Dunno. Oh..after they finished playing, I talked a little with Phil, and gave him my number, so he could pass it along to Nick, whom I haven't talked to since about 1998 or so. Well, he did, and Nick called me the next day. That was awesome, and it made my day. He doesn't live far away from me, so I'm hoping to hang out with him at some point.

Oh. I also saw this dude, Alex, who was in my Boy Scout troop, and was the original drummer in Conner. He lives in Boston, or something. I was walking into the show as he was heading outside to smoke or something, and it startled me so much that I hugged him. That was weird, since I seldom just go around hugging dudes. I had some beer, so maybe that helps explain it. Anyway, it was more awkward still, because he didn't really remember who I was. Might be some drug-induced brain damage issues. Then again, I'm 'different' in that I remember pretty much everybody I've ever met, even if I barely knew them.

Oh. Also, PBR was $1.50/can, so Jen and I ended up staying over at our friends' house in Lawrence, rather than driving back to Eudora. I rode Robin's bike home, which was sort of awesome, because she is really short, and I felt like a big giant riding home with my knees kicking up to ear level. Also, PBR had been 1.50/can, which made it even more humorous.

Lessee. Oh. This is a drag (skip ahead if you're in a decent mood and don't want to be made sad). My grandma was diagnosed with cancer like 7 years ago, and the doctors gave her like 3 months to live. She has been fighting it since. She is one tough lady. But, she's finally decided to go off chemo, because the cancer is winning. Cancer is an asshole. So she is pretty sick - nauseous, weak, and losing weight. The outlook is pretty bleak. I went to see her this past weekend, and it was pretty hard. She's always been the type who runs around fixing 10 times too much food for everyone, and working way harder than everyone else, even until relatively recently when she was having chemo treatments and stuff. But this time, she pretty much just slept, and ate a tiny bit of food now and again. Anyway. Sucks a real lot.

So if our neighbors don't think we're weird for using a "Happy Days" era, reel mower, they surely think we're insane when they see our "weed wacker." That's because our weed wacker is a crazy contraption my grandparents gave us, and is pretty much just a pair of scissors on a stick. You squeeze a handle at the top to make the blades close. It took me about 15 minutes just to trim back the long grass that was hanging over onto our driveway, which is only about 25 feet long to begin with. It's okay though; what's time to a zen buddhist?

OK. That's all. For real.

-m

2005-09-01T20:59:00.000-06:00

SOCKS AND OIL

It's 10:20 central standard time, and I just now realized that I put my right sock on inside out this morning.

I also think I have a touch of poison ivy on my left ear, and maybe my nose.

We should have known that our current government would do something like use the hurricane as an excuse to toss clean air regulations out the window. A "temporary" relaxation of sulfur guidelines... Sure. We'll see about that. A-holes.

Given Bush's prior record of exploiting national tragedies for political gain - esp. to push an agenda that otherwise wouldn't have the majority of Americans behind it - this shouldn't be surprising. Frankly, I'm waiting to see how they use the hurricane as a pretense to: 1) revoke some more of our civil liberties; 2) invade some distant and oil-laden land; and 3) fear-monger us into voting for more shithead neo-cons.

It's eery the way things like the hurricane, the Rodney King verdict, or a world series win so quickly expose the fragility of the thing we call civilization. I mean, gee whiz. It's shocking to see just how much we haven't advanced, as a species.

It's also shocking to see how poorly we, the world's richest country, are responding to this big huge crisis. Where are the National Guardsmen (and women)? They usually deal with this kind of stuff. Oh wait, they're all in fucking Iraq. Dang. Well...lots of luck, New Orleans...we'd like to help, but it appears that your best bets are all in a faraway land shooting at people and getting shot at for no particular reason other than Karl Rove thought it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I'm being a little facetious, but really, who had the equipment and manpower to deal with this kind of situation other than our military? They're the only ones with that kind of resources.

Another sooper day in America.

-m

2005-08-25T06:58:00.000-06:00

HOUSE

OK. We bought that house...(See below)..

Try to image it not-white and with some landscaping. Also, picture yourself playing pool in the faux-wood-paneling-lined basement, and sipping brandy old-fashioneds..

Fashion-neds.

Fashion Ned....

Potential new alter-ego..

-m

2005-08-19T08:01:00.000-06:00

HOUSE..

So. We might be buying a house. It's in the town of Eudora, where we currently live. It's a ranch-style, or, as some would have it, a California rambler. It's relatively small - 1055 square feet on the main floor, plus 500 square feet of "finished" basement. Basically, it's just like the houses most of us grew up in. At least, if you grew up in the midwest, in a family of modest income, between about 1960 and 1986 or so. Totally bland and normal. No landscaping, white paint inside and out. Built in 1962. Only distinguishing characteristic is wood floors throughout the upstairs, a "deck" type front porch, and a deck in the back. Oh, and a pool table in the basement (included). It's pretty much just like my friend Scott and Pete's houses. Or at least of that same style. Totally normal. But, all the big, expensive stuff (furnace, AC) is pretty new, and high quality. And the sellers are going to put on a new roof. It belonged to olds, so it's well taken care of and "gently lived in," as realtors like to say.

It's sort of a strange deal. Basically, another buyer already has a contract on it, but they have a contingency that they have to sell their house first. So if the seller accepts our contract, which we're giving them this morning, the first 'buyer' has 48 hours (until Sunday morning, in other words) to close on the house, or forfeit it. If they don't come up with the closing money, etc., by then, we have some time for inspection, etc., and will close on it September 12. Kind of crazy.

It has a few nice trees (pin oaks, mimosa, some sort of maple, and an elm), but otherwise, there's just a big kentucky bluegrass (Poa pratensis, for those botanists among you) desert. So it's ripe for installing some native plant landscaping, a rain garden, and maybe a few new trees (I'm thinking Picea pungens, and maybe Pinus strobus). The upside is we shouldn't have to spend lots of money buying crap like a new furnace. Not for a few years. No refrigerator included, though, so that's sort of a pisser.

So. I will get a call sometime soon (today) to hear whether the seller signed our contract, and will know by Sunday whether we will get it or not. We have a mechanical contingency, and pest contingency, obviously, but otherwise, we've as good as signed the contract. The first buyers have to come up with the cashola for closing costs and things real quick - on Saturday, no less - or they lose out. We're going to offer to pay them half of what they paid for the mechanical inspection, if we can see it, if we get it, which should ease the sting if we get it over them, but I still feel kind of assy about it. It's hard not to be assy when you're dealing with real estate. I feel bad. I'll get over it.

-m

2005-08-02T21:20:00.000-06:00

NASA AND CENTENNIAL CAMOFLAGE

OK, so our space program now relies on the integrity of beer-cooler-type styrofoam, and duct tape. I think it's time to scrap this program before someone gets hurt.

In other news, Woodstick III is this Saturday in Centennial, WY. Anyone wanna go?

-m

2005-07-29T10:49:00.000-06:00

TALK ABOUT FLIP-FLOPPING..

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Republican candidate for the 2008 Presidential race.

-m

2005-07-27T21:34:00.000-06:00

BEER

God. NASA sucks lately. They're grounding the space shuttle fleet?!? Like we were going to launch another one, just out of the blue, while we already had one in orbit...? How do you ground something that's already in outer space?! It makes our whole space program seem like it hinges on the integrity of a piece of beer-cooler quality styrofoam.

In other news...they finally changed the Yahoo Mail homepage. Bout frickin' time. The previous thing looked like something I could have come up with for twelve bucks and a half hour's work. I'm not sure what I mean by that.

I need to stop blogging after having a few beers. I'm no longer the expert I once was, and 2 beers pretty much makes me feel more or less kersmashed these days.

I think I forgot to share this precious story the other day:

Amputee happy to be reunited with foot.

-m

2005-07-26T00:21:00.000-06:00

PITCHERS..

Man. I'm struggling to work up the attention span necessary to somehow post 550 (or at least 300-some) photos from our Europe trip. There are several website hosting services out there that might work, but I'm too lazy to wade through them all to find one that doesn't have some stupid, lame, static, pre-set format, and also has enough room for all the images (up to 200 MB). Until then, I may just share, as I get a chance, some of my more favorite images:

I took this out the train window as we wound along the northern edge of Lake Geneva (a very large lake) in Switzerland. It is impossible to overstate how beautiful that particular place was. This image is nice, but be aware that it doesn't do justice to the beauty of the area..

Left to right: Jen, Me, Shelby's host mom (Maria), Shelby's host uncle (Iwan), Shelby's host dad (Andre), and Shelby's host aunt (Lena). We were tipping back the first pouring of a batch of 7-year old cognac they'd had made from their own grapes. Our 5 days with this generous and welcoming family were 5 of the best days we spent in Europe, or anywhere, for that matter. By the way, tradition requires that a brief toast is made prior to one slugging down the hard stuff in a single shot, whereupon one sets their glass down on the table and finds it immediately full again.

This was taken at the top of the Aiguille du Midi, a 9,000' high cable-car ride above the town of Chamonix, in the French Alps. The views from this vantage, into the Swiss and Italian Alps, are among the most amazing I've ever seen. We had planned to take another cable car across a glacier field, and then another down into Italy, but the one across the glacier field was still closed for the winter. For the record, it was frickin' cold up there.

-m

2005-07-22T11:56:00.000-06:00

RIBBONS

Am I the only one who is sick to hell of those damn magnetic car ribbons? Man. Tacky. Especially those people who have about 17 of them (right next to their Dale, Jr. decal). How come people don't steal those things off cars, since they peel right off? Answer: because they're like dust molecules: they're everywhere, and they ain't worth shit.

I was thinking it would be fun to do a survey of bumper (and window) stickers. I was envisioning that you could walk around different areas (Walmart, downtown, a heath club, a tanning salon, etc.) and record which bumper stickers, window decals, and magnetic ribbons you find on which different cars (make, model, and color) from which different places (county, state). You could do all kinds of cool stuff like some detrended correspondence analysis to categorize people into sociological classes based on their sticker/ribbon assemblage (including an analysis of where they're from, where they're parked, and what kind of cars they drive). You could also map the occurrence of different sticker assemblages by state or county. I bet you would find alot these people at Walmart:

-Make & Model: 1995 Chevy Silverado
-Stickers/Ribbons: Calvin pissing on a Ford symbol, Support Our Troops ribbon, Confederate flag decal, and a big number 8 decal.

Anyone volunteer to help me collect data?

-m

2005-07-12T22:05:00.000-06:00

DOG

I'm back at work again. Must be that the revisions I had to do (for a submitted manuscript) have once again engaged my procrastination-driven creativity. Here's what I'm working on...

Not done yet, by any means...

We have a TexMex cookbook that is awfully good. It has recipes for the best margaritas I've ever had. Real margaritas - 2 shots tequila, 1 shot cointreau (I substitute Triple Sec or even Grand Marnier - works fine), juice from 1/2 lime, salt for rim of glass. I've also been digging the alternate version - basically the same thing, but with hibiscus syrup as well. It makes for a hearty cocktail.

In other news, we think we found our dream house. Notice the fake castle-wall-rocks lining the basement walls. Also, the wet bar in said fake-castled basement. How can you go wrong with a basement that looks like that??? It would be like drinking martinis in Quake. Or something. It also has the most spectacular landscaping I've ever seen in a residential area (the pictures don't begin to do it justice). We're thinking somewhat seriously about it.

Why doesn't NetFlix offer Sifl & Olly DVDs?!? That's my only real beef with them. That, and the Get a Life, Season 1 DVD I put in my queueueueueu....uh...my list of movies to send next..anyway...it keeps getting bumped down to like number 4. Must be in high demand. I'm a fan, otherwise.

So...the live 97's album will be delayed for another year, and Murry Hammond's solo album is as well. Heck!

-m

2005-07-01T06:38:00.000-06:00

LOGIC

I think events of the past 5-10 years have clearly demonstrated that about 51% of Americans have the critical thinking ability of bread pudding. Still, I never cease to be baffled by the total lack of logic shown by someone who displays both the American flag AND the confederate flag on their vehicle's bumper. Bush can say what he wants about his base being the rich people, but it's really the aforementioned folks, many of whom may or may not be racing enthusiasts.

-m

2005-06-30T06:52:00.000-06:00

COLLEGE AGAIN

So I guess I'm not actually done with college. My advisor emailed and said the manuscript we had submitted for publication in Landscape Ecology - essentially my thesis - had been accepted by the editor, pending 'minor' edits. Well.....when someone says that the whole manuscript is too technical and too detailed, I think that constitutes more than a minor edit. I would call that a major revision. But....maybe we'll just tell that guy he's a dork, and hell with him if he doesn't get it...

But anyway..I have some more work to do outside of work. I'd rather be fishin'. Especially since we're traveling, visiting family and stuff, for the next 3 weekends or so..

-m

2005-06-22T19:39:00.000-06:00

THINKIN' CHAIR

We were short a chair in our living room, so a guy from work gave us one that he had sitting in his garage. He said it was his "thinkin' chair." I feel pretty honored. It's made of fake wood and black vinyl.

I like to take a moment once in awhile to appreciate the fact that I'm old enough to have lived in a time such that vinyl furnishings were still ubiquitous enough that my childhood contains memories of people on TV selling "As Seen On TV" vinyl repair kits. They kinda looked like fingernail polish bottles and brushes, and there were different colors you could get to match your particular chair, or whatever. And they would show a hand brushing some of the stuff on a big ol' rip, and there would be one of those special effect sparkles, and suddenly there would be no rip there anymore.

-m

2005-06-20T19:00:00.000-06:00

WAKARUSA

OK. So. Went to Wakarusa this past weekend. It's one of them music/camping/drinking/smoking stuff festivals..with hippies and stuff. We only went one day, because we knew a person that had tickets to get rid of. Saturday. Saw, among others, Blueground Undergrass, Jazz Mandolin Project, Splitlip Rayfield, Neko Case (I don't know where her boyfriends were), and Wilco. First of all, an observation: watching a whole bunch of self-important jam bands play for several hours, and then watching Wilco, makes you realize that Wilco is a real live rock and roll band. Whereas all the other bands are pretty much just a bunch of hacks. Sure, they can play their instruments, but they can't make any music that can hold my attention for more than about 2 minutes. It's kind of the Dave Matthews Band Syndrome (DMBS) that Bennett once diagnosed. All of the musicians are obviously very gifted at playing their instruments, but they don't know how to make music with them. See also Joe Satriani.

Some caveats.....Splitlip Rayfield was actually pretty good, if you like 600 mph bluegrass about cars and trucks. Neko Case was also very good. Apart from that though...I have to agree with someone else who commented on the Lawrence.com webpage who was questioning why anyone would pay $120 to see a bunch of no-name bands (Wilco and some other notable exceptions excepted) that normally couldn't even half-fill a pub for a $5 show in downtown Lawrence. I didn't wait around to see String Cheese. I was tired of hippies by then. It sucks to be at an outdoor concert and not be able to breathe because there is so much smoke (tobacco and otherwise).

So, it's official. Wilco is one of the (few) great bands of our time. I sort of remember a forgettable performance (I know..) they put on in D.C. in 2000. They must have been tired. Or depressed. Or really drunk. They were outstanding on Saturday. I wish they would have played longer, and I wish they would have chosen to play a few more songs from their back catalog, rather than Spiders (Spiders was cool live, but for my bucks I like short, tight songs better than 12-minute long, feedback-ridden freakouts), and I wish they had done a Uncle Tupelo reunion, since Son Volt was there, but all in all, it was a great show. They played most of the songs off A Ghost is Born, a few off Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (War on War, Jesus, etc., and, predictably, Heavy Metal Drummer), two off Summer Teeth, only one off Being There (Kingpin - sadly not Forget the Flowers or The Lonely 1), and none off A.M.. They also played two off the Mermaid Avenue albums - Airline to Heaven (they must be fond of this one, because I remember them playing it in D.C., too), and Hesitating Beauty, which Abbie so inexplicably and adorably titled My Dear Elaine, on the mix-tape she made me.

After seeing them live, I will likely spend the next few weeks re-listening to all their old (and not-so-old) albums. When I first heard Wilco (back in about '96), I remember thinking that they seemed like a band that would be around for awhile - a feeling that was reinforced after I bought Being There, and spent about 3 months incessantly absorbing it. I no longer have any doubt as to whether they will be remembered as a great band. They will be.

Oh yeah. And some guy died. At the festival.

Yeah, I know. Europe pictures and stuff. I'm working on it. Kinda.

-m

2005-06-08T18:16:00.000-06:00

AMERICAN CLASSIC

Since JeremyWhite was blogging about his new lawnmower the other day, I thought I would say some words about mine. We moved into a duplex in Kansas, and for the first time since leaving home, I've had the obligation of mowing the yard at my place of residence. Wait..I had to do it in DC, but that only amounted to about 6 times. That meant I had to invest in a mower. I've never been keen on normal mowers anyway, so I elected to go with the Scotts American Classic Reel-Type mower:

Isn't she a beauty!? I wanted to go fishing today, so we got all ready to go and headed North toward a lake I haven't checked out yet, but halfway there it started looking all tornadoey, so we ended up coming home. Since I was already in my grubby clothes, I decided to go ahead and mow the lawn. First time I used this mower. Man, that was the first time I enjoyed mowing the lawn since probably the 2nd or 3rd time I ever did it. No noisy-ass gas-powered engine, and I could actually smell the pleasant scent of freshly cut clover and grass, rather than gas fumes. It didnt take me any longer than it would have with a normal mower, and it didn't push any harder than a standard non-self-propelled mower. There were a few tall spikey grasses here and there that it didnt take out, but that will probably be remedied by more regular mowing. Cost me 129 bucks or something at Home Depot, and according to stuff I've read about them, you can go 2 years or so before the first sharpening, and then it just needs to be done about once a year or so. Anyway, I'm a big fan. If I had a huge yard, I'd probably still use this, I'd just buy a llama or ostrich or something and hitch it up to the mower with reins and do it that way. Actually, if I had a llama, I'd probably just let him eat the grass.

Anyway, after I got done mowing the lawn, I came in, and Jen had made fresh lemonade from real live hand squeezed lemons, so it really completed the whole Leave It to Beaver motif I had going. I think after this I'll go downstairs and sit in my easy chair, read the newspaper, and smoke a pipe.

In summary, if you're in the market for a mower, I recommend the Scotts American Classic. No buying gas or changing oil, no fumes, no maintenance, no ear-piercing engine noise.

-m

p.s. I went to Europe. Probably will post some pictures and stuff at some point...

2005-06-06T18:47:00.000-06:00

PEOPLE OF EARTH, YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE....

We are home. Stuff will follow. If anyone knows of a good way to easily post like 550 pictures to the intersuperhighwaynet, please let me know.

At ease.

-m

p.s. one of my greatest pet peeves is when people send you a forward email and add a line that says "I NEVER send forwards, but..."

2005-04-03T13:24:00.000-06:00

LIFE, AND STUFF..

So..most likely, we will be moving to Kansas.

Things I'm not looking forward to about Kansas:

1) Humidity
2) Lack of public lands
3) Being close to Kansas City
4) Being a working stiff

Things I am looking forward to about Kansas:

1) Bass fishin'
2) Friendly folk
3) Music (in Lawrence)
4) Restaurants (in Lawrence)
5) The words "evening" and "weekend" actually meaning something

While I'm at it....

Stuff I like:

1) Boats, in general
2) Noise pop and baroque pop, and about 13% of Alt-Country
3) The beets I grew last year
4) Absurdist humor

Stuff I hate:

1) When people recite stuff from TV shows (or movies), and expect you to think it's funny.
2) Preparing PowerPoint presentations
3) The turnips I grew last year (they taste like horseradish)

I'm also not big on impersonations - at least not impersonation of famous people. Seldom as good as advertised, and usually the impersonator isn't really impersonating the famous person, they're impersonating an impersonator impersonating the famous person. Meta-impersonation. I do appreciate accurate impersonations of people from my everyday life. Mike S. from my high school did an awesome impersonation of our physics teacher. That was funny. It fits with my overall taste in humor, which is that the funniness of something to me is inversely proportional to the number of people to whom it's funny.

Yes, I am avoiding preparing my PowerPoint presentation for AAG.

-m

2005-04-03T00:48:00.000-07:00

POPES

So, I'm putting my money on Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga. That's a decent payout.

I don't get popes. Actually, back that up...I don't get Catholicism. Well...take it back even further...I don't get religion. But, in particular, I don't get popes. They're kind of like queens. I'm not going to post lyrics from Maxwell's Silver Hammer, since every other blogger in the universe seems to have picked up on it already. I guess there's no connection. Odd, though. Why is it a silver hammer. In either case, I mean.

Abbie said most men have kidney problems when they get old. I told her if someone tried to stick a tube up my pecker I was going to kick their ass.

-m

2005-04-01T11:19:00.000-07:00

KEEEE-RIST!!

OK. I no longer have to worry about a third option - the one where we would stay in Laramie, and I would work for the GIS center here. Just had my interview for the remote sensing analyst position, and it was FUCKING TERRIBLE. I might as well have been interviewing for head rocket trajectory calculator guy at NASA. Or something. It was kind of silly, really, because they were asking me questions as though I had proposed to do all of this research in the first place, rather than being someone who was applying for a position to do some of the work. Yeah. I could answer all their questions if I spent about 3 weeks in the library, probably...but seriously, who really would have, a priori, a specific plan/methods for differentiating different sagebrush communities in areas with lots of bare ground using ancillary data. I think my answer to all of their questions was "I would like...use statistics or something." Which is probably kinda right in a very general sort of way...but...man. That was the worst interview ever. I know now that there is no realistic hope of me getting an offer for that job - really the point was just to teach me a lesson for like, having self-esteem and stuff. Not a problem anymore.

-m

2005-03-31T00:25:00.000-07:00

A FAIRLY SUBSTANTIAL DAY...

OK...so...lots of stuff..

Had an email from the U. of Wisconsin dude today - saying that the person they offered the PhD position to (the one I didn't get, remember) didn't work out, so was I still interested..? Said he would call at 2. At 1:55, the guy from the Kansas job called and offered me the position. Got all the formal stuff via email from him a few minutes later, as I was on the phone with the U. of Wisconsin dude. Wisconsin guy wanted me to come for an interview, but I basically said it wouldnt work, since I have really no free time before we leave for Europe. So he said that if I felt comfortable taking the position without visiting first, he felt comfortable with it as well. So kind of an offer there, too. So I emailed the dude from the job here, and asked where things sat, and told him my situation. This caused him to set up an interview with me Friday morning at 10 a.m. So the KS job wants to know stuff by next Tues., at the latest. No deadline on the Wisc one, really, and still have to interview for the Laramie one.

So..if anyone has any recommendations, feel free...not sure what to do here..

Oh. Also, printed what I hope to be the final version of my thesis. I worked on revisions for about 1.5 days, and then emailed my advisor and said I really didn't feel like I wanted to do any of the other ones, and he was like, "No problem, just wrap it up and bring me a copy." I like that he trusts my judgement in these matters. If all goes well, I should submit everything I need to for graduating by end of day Thursday, or mid-day Friday, at the latest. That will be a large load off. Of course, I still have to magically turn my 32 minute presentation into a 16 minute presentation, for the AAG meeting next Thursday, and try to kinda sorta rehearse it a little or something. Oh..and start packing. And identify garage sale items. And decide which job to choose. And tie up loose ends on a few other little projects (mainly just annotate stuff with sticky notes saying "do this first," "do this last, using this," etc.) Oh..and find a place to live, wherever we're going.

Plenty of time though - 14 days or something, before we start traveling on our trip.

Yeah. I'm looking forward to being utterly shitfaced and stuffed with tasty local cheeses in some out-of-the-way, backwater town in Romania whose name I can't even begin to pronounce.

-m

2005-03-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE

So....I defended my thesis yesterday. The way it works here is that you have 20-30 minutes to do a presentation, open to the public, and have your defense immediately following that with your committee. Mine was a bit over 30 min. I started a bit after 9, finished the presentation about 9:35, probably, and then went into my defense. By 10:20, they kicked me out to deliberate about my future, and by 10:40, I was leaving the building. Easy. None of my committee members challenged any of my methods, results, or conclusions. They just had 2-4 comments each, and all of them were prefaced by, "Maybe this is just me being stupid, but..." So I could probably get by without really addressing any of the comments, though some of them were useful, so I will definitely integrate some of them. The most major thing actually came out of a question by a fellow student and labmate - will cause me to address another question, probably. But all in all, a day or two worth of work.

Of course, I still have plenty to do - all the paperwork that exists so that various people in the graduate school have jobs, for example. Also, I somehow have to figure out how to pare my talk down from ~32 minutes to about 16-17 minutes, for the AAG meeting next week. I felt like I was hard-pressed to get all the pertinent info into 32 minutes, so don't know how it will work in half that time.

My mom came out for my presentation - she was here for a few days, so we ate out, watched movies, etc. Kind of fun.

Yesterday, we got together at 4 (me, Jenn, Abbie and other friends, my advisor, his wife, and a labmate of mine) and had some beers and snacks, then we drove to Centennial, because we were just sure it would be entertaining there. We were probably the liveliest bunch there (albeit not the drunkest) - it was pretty dead. But it was fun, generally speaking.

***********************

In unrelated news, I popped my ganglien cyst the other day. I was holding a bottle cap, and when I squeezed it in my hand, I felt a pop, which startled me, and then I realized the rock in my finger had disappeared. Neato.

***********************

In other unrelated news, I just got an email from the Wisconsin dude saying that one of the people they interviewed for the PhD assistantship I didn't get didn't end up working out, so would I like to come for an interview.. Would I like to come for an interview?! Cripes, I already HAD 2 interviews. I'm not sure I want to work with someone who is so anal. I had pretty much forgotten about the whole thing, and I'm not sure I'm that interested anymore, since I have what would probably be some pretty nice alternatives, here in Laramie and in Kansas.

***********************

In other news mostly unrelated to any of the above, I'll be staying with my friend (also former professor and former bandmate) in Denver during the AAG conference, which should be good times. I'll also get to see G-Had, Mike, Carmen, and some of the other folks from my days at NWMSU. The presentation I have to give is a minor annoyance. Steve and I may go to see Robyn Hitchcock. I need to listen to his new album. Haven't even heard it yet. Or have I? I've heard the song Television for certain...not sure if it's a remake, or if I have actually heard the album..

***********************

I'm getting a little itchy thinking about re-entering the workaday world. The simple fact that the KS people are much cooler than the people I worked with in Missouri, for instance, ought to make things better, in general. I should have my own office, so I won't be an official cubicle monkey. Plus there are plenty of opportunities for outdoor work on a fairly regular basis, which seems good. I guess what gets me about real jobs is the part where you're committed to spending 40 hours/week for at least ~250 days of the year doing what other people want you to do. I've never really liked rules that much, and I'm not that keen on people telling me what to do, in general. I'm torn, I guess. In many ways, I feel lucky that I've found a job that is as good a fit as this one appears to be, for my background, skills, and interests...like I said, though, it makes me a little itchy under the collar to think about committing the next 5-10 years of my life to doing what often won't be what I'd like to be doing. Some would probably call this laziness, and that's probably fair, in some ways. But nobody would think to call a lion, for instance, lazy, because it doesn't want an office job.

I hope to be creating some art in the next few days..

Thanks for listenin'

-m

2005-03-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION GEEKS

If you ever played Oregon Trail in 4th grade, I am pretty sure you will find this very amusing..

An Oregon Trail Weblog...

-m

2005-03-24T16:06:00.000-07:00

ALSO..

BTW, I'm listening to Dolly Parton, if that means anything.

(if it does, please let me know what)

Not 9 To 5, obviously...mostly stuff from the Jolene era.

-m

2005-03-24T15:52:00.000-07:00

FERGOT

I forgot I was going to blog about this story. Key quote: "We have no intention of allowing children in pants into the ring."

"Sumo Pants" would make an alright band name...

-m

2005-03-24T15:32:00.000-07:00

BOAR-DUMB

Man. Am I ever bored. Trying to put together the presentation for my thesis defense next Monday.

I'm sort of in vacation mode or something. Shouldn't be. But I am.

So...flew to the KC-area for a job interview. They picked me up at the airport, took me for dinner, and put me up in a nice hotel. I talked to them until about 1 the next day, and they took me to lunch. There was no formal interview. They seem like awesome people. Recall how awhile back I was lamenting that I had a hard time finding friends that shared even a few of my interests, hobbies, taste in music, movies, food, etc...? Well..I found them. They all work at this office. My politics were pretty middle of the road, compared to this group, and Al Sharpton is a little conservative for me. Awesome people, who are into fishing, dark beer, good music, good food, conservation, etc. There are only 5 people that work there now, and there seems to be an ever-increasing amount of work popping up, so probably would be a good growth thing, and all that bullshit. Sorry...curseword. I have a gag reflex when I hear words like "growth industry," "profit-sharing," "401k," etc. (BAARRRRFF!!!!)

But, I think it would be a good place to work, relatively speaking...(I keep thinking about my first (and only, actually) "real job" after college - I was a total dirty socialist hippie radical compared to those folks.) There seems to not be a real viable option to having a real job. Eventually, The Man will get you. At least you can get a job that's based on kicking The Man in the ass.

So latest word on the job: the dude called today, and all but said they were going to make an offer, but wanted to talk to their main office, first. I was a little disappointed by the salary range he mentioned, but it's not terrible. I just had no idea what to expect.

I don't know how I feel about the Schiavo thing. One thing is for certain, though..Republicans care ALOT about undeveloped fetuses' and vegetables' rights to live (although they don't seem to give two dog dumps about a person once they've actually been born, or if they have an intact cortex - see Iraq war, death penalty, etc.)

My friend Todd has rekindled my lifelong interest in sasquatches, and other crypto-creatures. I was thinking I should do my PhD work on bigfoot, when I get that far. Oh, that reminds me - this company will give you hours off, and pay for you to go back to grad school - so I could get a PhD paid for sometime down the road, and they only ask you to commit to 4 years after that. Seems fair. Not like the other place I worked, where they wouldn't even let you have time off to go to a conference or something, even if you were paying for it yourself.

-m

2005-03-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

HOME STRETCH..

I'm working on revisions of my thesis. So what I have left is: 1) revise according to my advisor's last red pen stabbings (fairly easy - mostly done); 2) make my figures, including study area map(s) and some graphs (easy); 3) compile a 20-30 minute presentation (meh). Have to have finished revisions by Saturday. My advisor gets back that day, then reads my thesis, makes some revisions, gives it to me, I revise it Sunday afternoon and evening, give it to my committee on Monday, fly out Monday late afternoon for a job interview in KS, come back, finish my presentation, defend on the 28th. Lots to do in the next week. It's spring break. Yeah, right.

I'm seriously considering acknowledging The Kinks (especially for the late 60's, early 70's stuff - "Muswell Hillbillies," etc.), The Velvet Underground, Mississippi John Hurt, Modest Mouse, Pavement, and Belle and Sebastian, whose music I've been listening to incessantly during the past few weeks, when I've essentially written my entire thesis.

-m

2005-03-09T00:51:00.001-07:00

OOPS..

So I corrected the fact that I had errantly published the Huckabees entry to the Digital Fridge, but forgot the main reason I even logged in to Blogger.....When you log into Blogger, it should be called 'blogging-in'..but that's not the reason I 'blogged-in' either...

The reason is that I was sitting here and a gnat flew by. "Flew" is being generous. It seemed to just be hovering, riding the currents. Gnats aren't that great at flying. But anyway, without thinking, I swiped at it and said, "Stupid dog-pecker gnats." Now: 1) We've had these stupid gnats hovering around our house for about 2 months now, so it isn't just like I have a low gnat tolerance; and 2) The reason I called it a "dog-pecker gnat," is because that's what my grandpa calls them. He said it's because they're the kind of gnats that hover around dogs' peckers. My grandpa is awesome. He's kind of like Archie Bunker, but more rural.

I can't remember if I ever blogged the story of my bachelor party with my grandpa...(remind me).

One other awesome thing my grandpa said once:

He was telling about some guy who had been drinking and driving, and had gone around a corner and gone off a cliff or something, and died. He told it all somberly and stuff, then it was silent for awhile. Then he said, abruptly, "...bet he won't do that again!"

-m

2005-03-09T00:51:00.000-07:00

2005-03-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

I HEART HUCKABEES

That movie rocks. No time for elaboration. But seriously...great movie.

-m

2005-03-04T11:12:00.000-07:00

ICE CREAM

Being an adult has a few advantages. Chief among these, I think, is that you can eat ice cream pretty much whenever. For instance, at 11:15 a.m.

I haven't yet formulated the recipe for a Discussion Section. That's where I am, so I will likely do it soon..I'm thinking it should be gin-based. As I get farther along in my thesis writing, my drinks will get progressively more alcoholic, I think. I'm writing in this order: Methods, Results, Discussion, Conclusion, Introduction, Abstract.

An Abstract Section will probably end up being something like a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster:

"Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster

1 bottle Ol' Janx Spirit.
1 measure Santraginean seawater.
3 cubes frozen Arcturan MegaGin.
4 liters Fallian marsh gas.
1 measure Qualactin Hypermint Extract.
1 Algolian Suntiger tooth.
Zamphour to taste.
Olive garnish.

Take the juice from one bottle of the Ol' Janx Spirit.

Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V -- Oh, that Santraginean seawater, it says. Oh, those Santraginean fish!

Allow three cubes of Arcturan MegaGin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).

Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble thrugh it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the marshes of Fallia.

Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint Extract, redolent of all the heady odors of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.

Drop in the tooth of an Algolan Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolan suns deep into the heart of the drink.

Sprinkle Zamphour.

Add an olive.

Drink... but... very... carefully."

From the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

-m

2005-03-03T17:04:00.000-07:00

NEW COCKTAIL RECIPE..

An adaptation of the Methods Section:

How to make a Results Section

Ingredients:

1 can Ginger Ale
2 lemon wedges
Angostura bitters
Ice

Directions:

Lightly squeeze the juice from 2 lemon wedges into a tall, chilled glass, and drop wedges into glass. Add 4 ice cubes, and pour Ginger Ale over ice and lemons. Shake 2 dashes of Angostura bitters into glass, and watch them slowly disperse in a flourish of Brownian Motion. Drink.

**************************

Now, technically, it's not a virgin drink, since Angostura bitters are 45% alcohol by volume, but c'mon, it's only 2 dashes...

-m

2005-03-02T10:30:00.000-07:00

NEW BLOG LINKS

OK..So I've added links to a few blogs over yonder.

Advanced Sasquatch belongs to a friend from Beatrice, who also worked at Kmart when I did, and who also does GIS nowadays. He was employee #33 at Kmart, I think. I was #104. I never understood the numbering system, because Kevin was like, 109 or something, and he started before me. It might have had something to do with what department you were in, or something.

BighornSheepPies(Eyes) is Abbie's friend from Idaho. I think I met her once, and we probably exchanged about 6 words (this was on the famous "Jen barfs all over Mark" night). But she leaves awesomely cryptic and insane comments on my blog, so I feel close to her, in that regard.

As you were.

-m

2005-02-28T22:17:00.000-07:00

BIBLE BUMPS

OK. So I went to the doctor about my finger rock today. It turns out that I have a ganglien cyst. It's a small one, as ganglien cysts go. Apparently, they're usually the result of some sort of injury. I can't recall doing anything to my finger, but I'm sure I did, at some point. So, the doctor explained it as being a build-up of "slickum" (he actually used that word) between the tendon and the thingy that surrounds the tendon. Apparently, people sometimes get larger versions of these on their wrists, and they refer to these as "bible bumps." And the reason is because, back in the day, when people got these, they would whack them with a bible, which would cause the little "slickum" bulges to burst, and the bumps would go away. Seriously. My particular ganglien cyst is smallish, and in a spot which would be difficult to whack with a bible. Abbie suggested a light tap with a hammer, but I'm afraid I would miss, and cause new ganglien cysts to form. You can have surgery done to correct it, but there's no guarantee that it won't come back. Plus, you know, it's like surgery and stuff. Expensive. Guess I'll have to deal with it. Doesn't bother me much..the pain is pretty mild...

So I went to a doctor about a bump on my finger, and he told me, more or less, to whack it with a bible.

-m

2005-02-28T10:20:00.000-07:00

WERK

Just have a minute, then I have to run and get the rock in my finger examined by a health professional at the University health center...I hope they just cut the damn thing out. Except that I'm afraid I might have some kind of fracture or something, because it hurts when I lift heavy stuff with that hand.

So.....the job thing...

Briefly, it went from being a job where I didn't care whether ever called me back, to "man..guess I'm working there."

First of all, and most importantly, it turns out they are moving (or "have moved") their office from downtown KC to a smallish town between KC and Lawrence. So..Suddenly I'm more interested (no commuting an hour in horrid KC traffic). Also, when I talked to the dude, he mentioned they were starting a native plants nursery there, as well. I mentioned that my wife will be getting her MS in Botany, within the next month, and he said, "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllll! HHHHHmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! We'd like to talk to her, TOO!" So not 100% sure yet, but looks as though they might fly us both down there for an interview around March 22nd. Plus, I found out more about the company. Pretty interesting stuff, and wouldn't make me feel like I was wasting my life sitting in a cubicle, just to make some dude richer (like the job I had in Maryville). Essentially, what the company specializes in is green alternatives to engineered infrastructure. Well, it's more than that, but that's one component. So the part I would be working on is analyzing, planning, designing (I'm not sure what all) a stormwater management system in Kansas City that uses things like wetlands, lakes, ponds, parks, etc., to manage stormwater, rather that just building a big ol' bunch of concrete culverts and diverting it immediately. There are other things - restoration planning, open space planning, watershed planning, affordable housing analysis. Essentially though, it's all stuff that would make me feel like I was doing something positive with my life. One thing that reassures me is that it's a relatively small company <50 people, I think, but the professional staff contains almost all ecologists, and only one engineer.

And, the whole time, this guy was talking about how excited he was to meet with me, and was wanting to hear about my research and things. It doesn't even sound like they're interviewing anyone else. Surely they must be, though, right? When he said they were really excited about my background, and wanted to fly me for an interview, I was thinking, "he must have picked up the wrong resume or something...does he think I'm someone I'm not?"

In other news, my thesis defense date is March 28, 9 am, and my draft will go to my committee members March 22. Jeepers.

-m

2005-02-24T07:25:00.000-07:00

WERK

Yesterday I was sitting here working, minding my own business, when the phone rang. It was such-and-such, from such-and-such consulting firm, calling regarding the application I had sent for a position with such-and-such. Without any real discourse, this dude more or less launched into a phone interview. I guess it went OK, but I wasn't really prepared, especially since it took me awhile to even remember what the job was/what the company did. At the end, he said he would have another guy call me. Today. Between 8 and 9. Which means between 7 and 8 my time. So I went to bed early last night, but couldn't sleep, and ended up roaming around the house looking for snacks until about 2:30 (didn't find any), then finally went to bed and got to sleep somewhere around 3, got up at 6:30, and now I'm sitting here waiting for some dude to call, so he can ask me all the same stupid questions.

The job is with an ecological consulting company sort of thing. They do restoration planning, open space planning, wetland surveys, etc. - they even have a few native plant nurseries, here and there. So the job is for a GIS'er/ecologist...kind of a perfect match for my experience, and much more appealing than parcel mapping (yech).

So now for the downside...It's in Kansas City. There are few places I dislike more than Kansas City (Lincoln, NE, Denver, CO, and St. Joseph, MO being some of those). If you threw a dart at the map of the world, assuming it didn't hit water (or maybe even if it did), it's almost certain I'd rather live there than in KC. Plus, the place appears to be right downtown. Which would mean an awful commute, or living in an itty house smashed in amongst tons of other people who hate being cramped in amongst tons of other people in itty houses. I'm getting claustrophobic just thinking about it...

SO...I don't give 2 rips if I get offered the job. Maybe if I could work from home...

UPDATE...
It's now 8:05 and that dork-on still hasn't called. I'ma take my shower, and start working. If they want to make me into a slave to the man, it's going to take years of imprisoning me in a tiny cubicle for hours on end; I'm not giving up this easily...

-m

2005-02-23T16:12:00.000-07:00

OTHER DRINKS TO DO MATH BY...

That would make a good album title...

You can make a "Methods Section Old-Fashioned" by simply adding a sugar cube to the recipe given previously for a plain old "Methods Section."

Thought you should know...

-m

2005-02-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

FINGER ROCK

I have a rock in my finger. It might not be a rock, but it feels like one. It might be a rock. It's in my fingerpit. You know, the armpit of my finger. Crease. That's another word that might work. I don't know when it got there. I only know that my finger (it's my left flipper finger) has been hurting for awhile when I try to lift heavy stuff with it. Maybe a year or something. And then last week I notice this rock lodged in it. Jen thinks it might be a piece of bone that got chipped off a long time ago, and it finally worked it's way into my fingerpit. I can kinda move it around. I was thinking I should squeeze it up my arm, work it up my chest, and spit it out. Or just cut it out. It's right there...how hard could it be? Nothing important in your fingers anyway...far from your heart and brain..

Stupid finger rock.

-m

2005-02-21T22:17:00.000-07:00

MOCKTAILS...

I was thinking I would implement this strategy whereby for every paragraph of my thesis I completed (or perhaps for every page), I would allow myself one cocktail. But since this would probably result in the final section of my thesis comprising a short story about a blind, six-legged elephant named "Toledo," I decided against it. I've been delving into the medical/econometrics/international relations literature searching out obscure rules and techniques in logistic regression. In short, I can't afford the decrease of mental horsepower even a single beer would cause me, so I'm staying away from the sauce, mostly. Today I fixed myself a non-alcoholic beverage which consisted of this: ginger ale and a lime wedge. I call it a "Methods Section." It reminded me some of a gin & tonic. Gin & tonics remind me of my one trip to Idaho. I don't know why we bought ginger ale. It was sort of an impulse buy that we decided to make about 2 weeks before we actually made it. I can't really explain that, except that we were on our way back from Nebraska, and it was hot and dry in the car, and I suddenly wished I was in the kind of store that sold ice-cold ginger ale, so I could buy some. Prior to the ginger ale-based beverage I made today, the one and only time I ever had ginger ale was about 13 years ago, and I didn't like it that time.

-m

2005-02-21T16:35:00.000-07:00

I AM NAPOLEON

I think Napoleon Dynamite is one of those movies that seems better in retrospect than it does when you actually watch it...

So, according to the quiz, of characters in the movie, I am most like Napoleon Dynamite.

"You are Napoleon Dyanamite and a buttload of gangs
are trying to recruit you."

-m

2005-02-20T10:25:00.000-07:00

SONGS

When I woke up this morning, I wanted to listen to, in this order, Bloomington, by Old 97's, The Man Who Sold the World, by David Bowie, and Istanbul (Not Contantinople), originally recorded by The Four Lads, as performed by They Might Be Giants.

So I did. Thanks Rhapsody. The innernet rawks.

-m

2005-02-16T23:40:00.000-07:00

TRAIN BOATS

You wanna know something freakin' crazy? In some places in Europe, there are these ferries that connect rail networks across water. But here's the thing...It's not like you get off of the train and onto a boat, cross the water, then get on another train and continue...NO NO NO! They actually load the WHOLE TRAIN (I swear I'm not making this up!) onto the boat and ferry the whole works across the water...

I'm don't feel comfortable about being on a boat that is carrying a train. That's just wrong.

-m

2005-02-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

ANOTHER SEMI-USELESS FRIEND NETWORK SETUP..

So, Bennett invited me to join MySpace.com...It's pretty much the same as Friendster, I guess, except it seems to have a little more functionality...dunno...if anyone's interested....I am markandersen-AT-gmail.com..you can find me with that email address.

In unrelated news, I unexpectedly and accidentally applied for a teaching position in the United Arab Emirates today...

-m

2005-02-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

FORGOT..

Oh yeah...almost forgot...New art.

I finished The Salmon of Doubt last night. A little disappointing - I was under the impression that the novel was a bit longer than it actually was...it just stops suddenly. Which is a bummer, because it was shaping up to be a great one. By then it was 1, or something, and I lie in bed until a little after 2, then said screw it, got up, did some art, and went back to bed. Didn't get to sleep until after 4, so I didn't get out of bed until 11. My sleep habits are dumb.

-m

2005-02-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

WIXKAHNSIN

So, by way of explanation for my sullen entry dated 8 February 2005, the following:

1) I was in the middle of an annoying cold, which I'm just now starting to get over.

2) I had just found out that my great aunt was about to die (she actually died yesterday - the funeral is Monday). I know most people aren't familiar with their great aunts or uncles, but this one lived in the same small town as my grandparents, so we saw her often, and she had the same birthday as me. Poor ol' Macky. I'll miss her.

3) I had also just found out that I was not among the 2 finalists for the research assistantships at Wisconsin. Actually, nobody has been offered the position yet - the top 2 people have to visit, make the grade, and accept the positions first - but I have no way of knowing whether I'm #3 or #10, but I'm sure as shittin' not going to wait around for another couple of weeks to see if I can squeak in as an alternate. That's horseshit, as far as I'm concerned.

4) The combination of 1-3 has made it doggone hard to make much progress on my thesis work. Basically, I have about a month to wrap up my analysis, write this up (likely over 50 pages of text, but will have to be whittled down to closer to 25 to be ready for publication), prepare and give my presentation, and defend. I can't seem to make it through an entire day without taking at least one nap, I am ready to go to bed by 10 o'clock, and I've pretty much sat around mopey and on the verge of tears for the last 4-5 days.

So that's that, and that sucks.

The Salmon of Doubt, though, is great. I'm into the novel portion...some great stuff there. I had almost forgotten one of my favorite lines of all time, which appears somewhere early in the Dirk Gently series: "I believe in the fundamental interconnectedness of all things." I forgot what a great character Dirk is. I'ma hafta go back and read the first 2 books. I think I would appreciate them more fully now.

-m

2005-02-08T23:39:00.000-07:00

MORE NEW ART-LIKE STUFF..

So I'm kind of into ArcView as a drawing software now. My latest work is a drawing of my lovely wife, Jen(n)..

It gets easier to do work in ArcView, once you have things like skin tones set as legend files, an understanding of more efficient ways to do things, and suchlike.

-m

2005-02-08T17:25:00.000-07:00

A PIECE OF ADVICE..

Never buy a nice bottle of wine in anticipation of uncorking it to celebrate some happy occasion. It's bad luck. That's the lesson for the day.

Instead, buy a bottle of cheap wine and drink it as soon and quickly as possible, and you shan't be disappointed.

-m

2005-02-08T01:39:00.000-07:00

NEW ART....

OK..So there are 2 new things on the Digital Refrigerator. The first is the predecessor to a future opus by G-Had, the other is my first attempt at vector artwork, using ArcView. I'm quite pleased with how it came out, and I can't wait to see G-Had's finished Cookie Monster..

The vector image (one that will look familiar to regular readers of this blog), is in correct proportions to serve as a desktop for your computer, by the by.

-m

2005-02-06T21:33:00.000-07:00

'TARS

No, not Beatrice's one homeless guy. Guitars. As in, I need another one. Possibly 2 more. At least one of which wouldn't break my heart if it was electric.

The problem is this: I kind of like playing Old 97's tunes. But the 97's play with their guitars tuned down a step. Fine. So I did this. But now I find myself wanting, sometimes, to play some Alejandro Escovedo - deeply satisfying - especially something like Wave, which is simple, but makes it almost sound like I kind of know what I'm doing. Besides, Old 97's songs without percussion are kinda lame, except the obvious ones - 'Adelaide,' 'Going, Going, Gone,' 'Salome,' 'Valium Waltz,' and 'Question.' But, I really don't have the finger-pickin' abilities, nor the thumb coordination, to do justice to 'Question, so it's probably not worth having my guitar all detuned for the ability to play like 5 songs.

I know, I know, I could use a capo. That would require having a decent capo. The one I have now is one of those ridiculous ones that is basically an elastic strap with a rubber-encased metal bar that fastens around the guitar. But..they never work...not tight enough to keep from having serious buzzing issues, which are problematic on my Harmony whenever I capo. Don't be dis'n Harmonys, though - that's what Blind Blake played. Although, perhaps they made a better product back then...

Speaking of capos, I noticed Kreg Viesselman was doing this interesting thing where for a few songs he capo'd all but the low E, I believe at the 3rd fret, but a girl's head was in the way, so I couldn't be sure. The effect was that he was kinda his own bass player. Of course, that's not something that my Spandex Wonder capo allows.

Secondly, I am not one of those people who can just twist away and have a guitar re-tuned in 20 seconds. It takes me closer to 20 minutes. So it ain't like I wanna just go back and forth all the time. I always tuned by ear up to about a year ago, but could never get it quite perfect, so I downloaded Chromatia, which is a sharewarish chromatic tuner emulator program-like thing. It works OK. But...It does that annoying thing like WinZip where everytime you start it up, it starts counting up the days you've had it without paying for it, except that it counts waaaaaaaaay slower than WinZip. I have to start it and then go do something else for about 10 minutes while it counts. Oh...but, I can't miss the actual startup by much, because it usually takes me about 5 minutes to tune with it, and the trial version only allows you to tune for 10 minutes at a time before it shuts down and you have to start the whole ridiculous process again. Anyway, if I'm going to detune a whole step, and then go back up, it requires some real hard thinking on my part (did I mention I'm a terrible musician?)

So. In conclusion, I need the following:

1) An extra guitar, preferably not a Harmony brand, and if it happens to require electricity, that's fine
2) A decent capo (i.e. one that doesn't involve elastic)
3) A guitar tuner
4) A harmonica (OK, this has nothing to do with my guitar issues, but it's something I've always wanted, and never had)

-m

2005-02-06T14:58:00.000-07:00

DOUBTFUL SALMON LEFTOVERS..

When I was younger (junior high), I wanted to be able to write like Douglas Adams. I loved the way he wrote - reading a book by Adams is kind of like taking a walk through the prairie with a dog. He bounds along, way out ahead of you, and every once in awhile, he suddenly stops and circles, sniffing the ground. Then, just as you're about to catch up, he lifts his head in a sudden jerk, glances around, sniffing the air, and bounds off in an entirely different direction. Douglas Adams was like a well-read, well-informed, more thoughtful Dave Barry. Not that Dave Barry isn't great, too, but I always get the sense, when I read Barry's stuff, that "I could DO THAT." Adams' work, by contrast, just makes me say, "Wowee."

Then I read A Farewell to Arms, and I wanted to be able to write like Hemingway. Each sentence is a tour-de-force of monosyllabic majesty, laden with latent emotion and depth.

Then I read The Grapes of Wrath, and I wanted to write like Steinbeck - that vitality, that basic, raw humanism, with transcendentalism everywhere in the subtext..

It's basically been a progression from there...back to Hemingway, back to Steinbeck, then Neihardt, back to Adams, back to Hemingway..more recently Abbey, Peacock, Turner, Cather...but...

The other night I started reading The Salmon of Doubt, by Douglas Adams. It's sort of a collection of occasional pieces he wrote, plus a stitched together novel, which was to be the final book in either the Hitchhiker's series, or the Dirk Gently series - apparently, it's not clear which..

It's good stuff. One begins to realize that there is alot going on behind the facade of facile satire (not that facile satire wouldn't be enough!). I haven't gotten to the novel part yet, so I can't comment on that, but the magazine and newspaper articles won't disappoint anyone who likes other DNA work.

-m