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Friday, March 04, 2005


Being an adult has a few advantages. Chief among these, I think, is that you can eat ice cream pretty much whenever. For instance, at 11:15 a.m.

I haven't yet formulated the recipe for a Discussion Section. That's where I am, so I will likely do it soon..I'm thinking it should be gin-based. As I get farther along in my thesis writing, my drinks will get progressively more alcoholic, I think. I'm writing in this order: Methods, Results, Discussion, Conclusion, Introduction, Abstract.

An Abstract Section will probably end up being something like a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster:

"Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster

1 bottle Ol' Janx Spirit.
1 measure Santraginean seawater.
3 cubes frozen Arcturan MegaGin.
4 liters Fallian marsh gas.
1 measure Qualactin Hypermint Extract.
1 Algolian Suntiger tooth.
Zamphour to taste.
Olive garnish.

Take the juice from one bottle of the Ol' Janx Spirit.

Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V -- Oh, that Santraginean seawater, it says. Oh, those Santraginean fish!

Allow three cubes of Arcturan MegaGin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).

Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble thrugh it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the marshes of Fallia.

Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint Extract, redolent of all the heady odors of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.

Drop in the tooth of an Algolan Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolan suns deep into the heart of the drink.

Sprinkle Zamphour.

Add an olive.

Drink... but... very... carefully."

From the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.


Thursday, March 03, 2005


An adaptation of the Methods Section:

How to make a Results Section


1 can Ginger Ale
2 lemon wedges
Angostura bitters


Lightly squeeze the juice from 2 lemon wedges into a tall, chilled glass, and drop wedges into glass. Add 4 ice cubes, and pour Ginger Ale over ice and lemons. Shake 2 dashes of Angostura bitters into glass, and watch them slowly disperse in a flourish of Brownian Motion. Drink.


Now, technically, it's not a virgin drink, since Angostura bitters are 45% alcohol by volume, but c'mon, it's only 2 dashes...


Wednesday, March 02, 2005


OK..So I've added links to a few blogs over yonder.

Advanced Sasquatch belongs to a friend from Beatrice, who also worked at Kmart when I did, and who also does GIS nowadays. He was employee #33 at Kmart, I think. I was #104. I never understood the numbering system, because Kevin was like, 109 or something, and he started before me. It might have had something to do with what department you were in, or something.

BighornSheepPies(Eyes) is Abbie's friend from Idaho. I think I met her once, and we probably exchanged about 6 words (this was on the famous "Jen barfs all over Mark" night). But she leaves awesomely cryptic and insane comments on my blog, so I feel close to her, in that regard.

As you were.


Monday, February 28, 2005


OK. So I went to the doctor about my finger rock today. It turns out that I have a ganglien cyst. It's a small one, as ganglien cysts go. Apparently, they're usually the result of some sort of injury. I can't recall doing anything to my finger, but I'm sure I did, at some point. So, the doctor explained it as being a build-up of "slickum" (he actually used that word) between the tendon and the thingy that surrounds the tendon. Apparently, people sometimes get larger versions of these on their wrists, and they refer to these as "bible bumps." And the reason is because, back in the day, when people got these, they would whack them with a bible, which would cause the little "slickum" bulges to burst, and the bumps would go away. Seriously. My particular ganglien cyst is smallish, and in a spot which would be difficult to whack with a bible. Abbie suggested a light tap with a hammer, but I'm afraid I would miss, and cause new ganglien cysts to form. You can have surgery done to correct it, but there's no guarantee that it won't come back. Plus, you know, it's like surgery and stuff. Expensive. Guess I'll have to deal with it. Doesn't bother me much..the pain is pretty mild...

So I went to a doctor about a bump on my finger, and he told me, more or less, to whack it with a bible.



Just have a minute, then I have to run and get the rock in my finger examined by a health professional at the University health center...I hope they just cut the damn thing out. Except that I'm afraid I might have some kind of fracture or something, because it hurts when I lift heavy stuff with that hand.

So.....the job thing...

Briefly, it went from being a job where I didn't care whether ever called me back, to "man..guess I'm working there."

First of all, and most importantly, it turns out they are moving (or "have moved") their office from downtown KC to a smallish town between KC and Lawrence. So..Suddenly I'm more interested (no commuting an hour in horrid KC traffic). Also, when I talked to the dude, he mentioned they were starting a native plants nursery there, as well. I mentioned that my wife will be getting her MS in Botany, within the next month, and he said, "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllll! HHHHHmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! We'd like to talk to her, TOO!" So not 100% sure yet, but looks as though they might fly us both down there for an interview around March 22nd. Plus, I found out more about the company. Pretty interesting stuff, and wouldn't make me feel like I was wasting my life sitting in a cubicle, just to make some dude richer (like the job I had in Maryville). Essentially, what the company specializes in is green alternatives to engineered infrastructure. Well, it's more than that, but that's one component. So the part I would be working on is analyzing, planning, designing (I'm not sure what all) a stormwater management system in Kansas City that uses things like wetlands, lakes, ponds, parks, etc., to manage stormwater, rather that just building a big ol' bunch of concrete culverts and diverting it immediately. There are other things - restoration planning, open space planning, watershed planning, affordable housing analysis. Essentially though, it's all stuff that would make me feel like I was doing something positive with my life. One thing that reassures me is that it's a relatively small company <50 people, I think, but the professional staff contains almost all ecologists, and only one engineer.

And, the whole time, this guy was talking about how excited he was to meet with me, and was wanting to hear about my research and things. It doesn't even sound like they're interviewing anyone else. Surely they must be, though, right? When he said they were really excited about my background, and wanted to fly me for an interview, I was thinking, "he must have picked up the wrong resume or something...does he think I'm someone I'm not?"

In other news, my thesis defense date is March 28, 9 am, and my draft will go to my committee members March 22. Jeepers.


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