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Saturday, April 19, 2003

-The Great Goose Incident of 2003!


Wednesday, April 16, 2003

And finally, the top story today from our fake government...

-The terror alert was lowered from 'orange' to 'yellow' so that it could be raised back to 'orange' when Fake President Bush is trying to gather support for an invasion of Syria. He may have to raise it all the way to 'red' to get that one...


-Well I'll be. Maggot art.

-Well I'll be. Bird poop art.

-For all you fans of math and physics jokes out there.


Oh man. One more:

-Normally, this type of thing irritates me to no end, but this one has stuff written in Japanese, and these pictures are WAAAAY TOOOO MUCH!


-These would be handy in dealing with my neighbors. Truly, all "space age weapon[s] of the future" are powered by 2-9v batteries.

-I cannot decipher what this article is about, for the life of me.

-In case you were wondering what David Hasselhoff was up to these days..


To add to the list of stuff I've learned in life so far: If you tell someone that such-and-such is your 2nd favorite so-and-so, they will invariably ask, "what's the first?"

Henceforth, my top 10 favorite rock bands:

1. The Meices
2. Hum
3. Wilco
4. Social Distortion
5. The Clash
6. The White Stripes
7. Nirvana
8. Velvet Underground
9. Jane's Addiction
10. The Lemonheads
11. The Pixies
12. CCR

Probably subject to some shifting around, but I'm pretty certain the top 4 are in the correct order.

Honorable mentions:
The Alien Crime Syndicate
Camper Van Beethoven
The Eels
Porno for Pyros (easily could have been in the top 10, but I figure one Perry Farrell band is sufficient)
Uncle Tupelo
The Smiths
Ben Folds Five
The Cure
Beach Boys
The Misfits
The Old 97's
The Ramones
Dropkick Murphys
whatever different bands all the guys from Hum are now in
Green Day
The Pogues

So apparently my thumb is not calibrated yet. Must not quite be old enough. It didn't rain until Tuesday. So I'm still learning how to use my old guy powers. Maybe I can become a superhero, someday. Like Storm - except, instead of summoning violent thunderstorms at will, I can predict them with amazing ability (give or take a day).

Me: Hold it!
Wolverine: What is it?!?
Me: Don't forget your slicker! It's gonna rain! Probably.

My second favorite solo artist is Jeff Buckley.


2 links from Steve:

-Hey everyone, free pottery! Apparently, relics of inherent world heritage value are not worth saving. Some stuff (rhymes with spoil) is.

-Good editorial here.

out for now...more later...it's wednesday..job day..


Tuesday, April 15, 2003

With apologies to Gil Scott-Heron:

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (New & Improved!)

The revolution will not be televised.
You will not be able to read about it on CNN.com.
You will not be able to buy frozen Tee Vee dinners at Wal-Mart.
You will not be able to hear the latest Top40 hits on your radio.
You will not be able to dial-up, download, upgrade.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be televised.
You will not be able to refuel your monstrous automobile.
You will not be able to purchase a Big Mac, Whopper, or Stuffed Crust.
You will not be able to get fries with that.
You will not be able to super-size it.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not go better with Budweiser, Coors, or Miller.
The revolution WILL go better with moonshine, homebrew, mushrooms.
There will be no press conferences, no behind-closed-door meetings with the energy industry.
Martin Sheen will not give a statement about the revolution.
Cuz' the revolution will not be televised, brother.

The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be named after a bankrupt dot-com.
The revolution is not the next reality-Tee Vee show.
You will not be able to hold staff meetings.
Your American Express card will not be accepted anywhere you want to be.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not help you consolidate your debt.
The revolution will not increase your penis size.
The revolution will not allow you to make millions from the comfort of your own recliner.
You will not receive millions from a guy in Nigeria.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be televised.
...will not be televised
...will not be televised
...will not be televised
The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be televised..


Monday, April 14, 2003

I'm gettin' old.

How come:

1) I'm getting (getting, hell!) embittered about the world, our country, politics...hell in a handbasket...stuff like that.

2) I seem to be getting more and more cantankerous (sp?).

3) I'm thinking back to the days when I got my first job and minimum wage was $4.25, and I thought that was alot, by golly.

4) I seem to have developed cool old-guy powers. Like, I can tell when it is going to rain or snow cuz my bones get achy. Particularly the thumb that got broken by a Nate Keller fastball tipped off Andy Moon's bat.

Gonna snow or rain today. Don't care what Intellicast says.


One more thing...

-I just had to link to this.


-It's about time someone started an online Canned meat product museum.

-E-staplers. Recommended!

-I hear they have a great Department of Redundancy Department here.

-Apparently little Australian girls are just dang tough.

-What the...? OK. Bush is definitely not winning the next election...

-Just when I was starting to think America had lost everything that makes this a great country.


Sunday, April 13, 2003

-This is an awfully damned good editorial on the Rush Limbaughs, G. Gordon Liddys, and Ann Coulters of our media today, and on things in this country in general.

-I can't believe this actually happened, even with John Ashcroft around.

-Don't believe everything you see.

-Further proof of the fact that our government is one of the most corrupt in all the world.


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