Peruvian Nights and Jamaican Days

AS EDWARD ABBEY ONCE SAID...(THE RANDOM ED ABBEY QUOTE OF THE DAY)

This is in regard to and by way of nothing, but nonetheless is insightful:

"If my decomposing carcass helps nourish the roots of a juniper tree or the wings of a vulture--that is immortality enough for me. And as much as anyone
deserves."

-m

THIS COULD MEAN TROUBLE...

As I was eating cereal this morning, I happened to glance at the grocery list Jenn had put together. It seemed normal (eggs, milk, onion, diced tomatoes, etc), until I came to:

"Kidney stones"

I swear I am not making this up. I can only assume she meant kidney beans. Even so, it is a little worrisome. I mean, I'm afraid to think of what she could be planning with those kidney stones. I've never had that experience yet in my life, and hope never to, from what I've heard.

"One must be reasonable in one's demands on life. For myself, all that I ask is: (1) accurate information; (2) coherent knowledge; (3) deep understanding; (4) infinite loving wisdom; (5) no more kidney stones, please."
--Edward Abbey

I'm scared..

-m

TODAY'S-COOLEST-KEYWORD-SEARCH-LEADING-TO-MY-PAGE:

"peruvian ass"

It's a good thing I used the word 'Peruvian' in my title. So I could attract all these people that are looking for Peruvian porn.

-m

WHO ARE YOU?

So I notice there is somebody at the USDA Office of Operations in Fort Collins, CO that looks at this page fairly routinely. Just wondering who the heck you are..some person I know, or just a random bored office worker type? Part of the page counter thing. Also, most people visit on Wednesday, which adds to my hypothesis that Wednesday is the most boring day of all, though it isn't as annoying as Tuesday, by a long shot.

Just curious, you know..Not aware that I know anyone in Ft. Collins anymore. Particularly someone who works for USDA.

-m

KUDOS TO eBAY..

..where a person can sell sexually suggestive animal crackers for $33.

-m

EVERY DOG OWNER SHOULD CARE ENOUGH..

..to provide their dog with its very own pimp costume.

-m

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A WAY TO GET FREE BEERS AND T-SHIRTS..

Simply waltz into a bar in Miami and say you've just arrived via dingy from Cuba..

It's things like this that give me some hope that America isn't totally lost and gone forever.

-m

IS IT JUST ME OR..

has anyone else had trouble loading my page lately? I generally have to hit refresh about 16 times before it finally loads. And I'm on a pretty fast connection. Please let me know (via comments) if you are experiencing this problem as well. It could be the sockmonkeyridingachicken graphic above, since the problem materialized sometime after I added it.

Merci..

-m

WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK..

So I don't really have many 'attacked by animals' stories, like Mike does, but yesterday..

Yesterday I went fishing. Only the third time since moving to Wyoming. We tried Lake Hattie, a big barren prairie lake, in the canoe. Had some nibbles, that was about it. It started to get windy, so we bagged it about a half hour before sunset and drove to nearby Meeboer Lake (sounds not promising, for those familiar with the term 'meeber'). It seemed like a good place, insofar as there were lots of people fishing there, and I had heard the trout were spawning (therefore easy to catch) there. Well, that thing is SHALLOW. I had shorts and sandals on, so I just waded out. The water was suprisingly warm, and I could wade out about 50 yards before the water was high enough to dampen the bottom of my shortpants. So I was out there, fishing. And I was like...'ooo...bubbles on my legs.' I felt all these little weird tickly things on my legs. So I assumed it was just bubbles I had stirred up from the muck on the bottom. Then I waded back out, and looked down..."AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sea monkeys!! They're attacking me!" Actually, at first I thought they were leeches. But when I looked closer, I discovered my legs were covered by hundreds (perhaps thousands, I didn't take the time to count) of little brine shrimpy things. Clinging to my leg hairs like no tomorrow. Now, they were kind of cute, individually, and I didn't notice them biting or anything, but man, it was creepy. My legs were just covered, and they were sorta clinging to the insides of my trousers legs. Mind you, I have a pretty high tolerance for bugs and other crawly critters, but this just sort of made me uneasy..

So I think I'll wear waders next time.

And that's my 'attacked by animals' story for today.

BTW, didn't catch any fish there. It was so shallow I just caught salad everytime.

-m

FROM THE 'FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S SOO TRUE' DEPARTMENT

This is hilarious..

-m

TODAY'S-COOLEST-KEYWORD-SEARCH-LEADING-TO-MY-PAGE:

"peruvian, party, theme"

People are way into Peruvian stuff, evidently.

-m

WILCO RULES..

Today's randomly selected line from the new(ish) Wilco album, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (which you should definitely purchase immediately), is:

"let's undress just like cross-eyed strangers.."

If you like the album and/or the band, you should check out the DVD, "I am trying to break your heart," which is a documentary about the making of the album and the troubles they had during production. For instance, their label, Reprise, after hearing the album, says, 'there is no way we're releasing this album.' That's how good it is.

-m

BUILD YOUR OWN SUPERCOMPUTER

I did this with a couple of Ataris once..

-m

WHO'S LOOKING AT THIS BLOG?

So Bennet recently added a counter to his web page. It tracks the number of hits, hits by unique users (that is to say, 'unique computers'), and summaries by day, week, hour, etc. It also tells you what searches people typed into Yahoo!, Google, etc. to get to your page. I was interested to see how many people visit this blog (35 unique users (actually, 35 unique computers) since last Tuesday). More than I thought. Also, the following are searches people did that led them to my page:

-"peruvian porn"
-"peruvian movies"
-"peruvian girls ass"
-"peruvian girls"
-"buying jamaican stuff"

Apparently, there is a pretty famous porn industry in Peru. I bet those people are disappointed when they end up here. I wonder what kind of 'Jamaican stuff' people want to buy..

-m

OK. Googlism finally recognizes Fairly Crass..

-m

This is funny, but also sad, because it makes me feel old..

-m