Peruvian Nights and Jamaican Days

-Interview with The White Stripes, @ The Onion AV Club

-m

BREAKING NEWS - URGENT TRAIN WHISTLE ABSENCE UPDATE!

-Apparently, not having train whistles anymore in North Platte, NE, is a big, big story. This is the second national story I've seen about it. (From Steve).

-m

BREAKING NEWS - MUSKRAT SHORTAGE UPDATE!

Turns out my friend Tiska DID know something about the muskrat shortage. His report follows:

so.... yeah... the muskrat shortage was big news man. They had an article about this old dude that had been wading through waste-deep december swamps setting leg snare traps since before he could walk. That was before they got banned for being cruel... (muskrats got snared and then drowned in the high tide) then they had to use live traps that floated or something silly. It was this funny story though, this dude all talking like the world has gone to crap cause no one catches muskrats anymore... like I think he was convinced that it was the national past-time at one time. Made it sound like muskrat opening day was like trout season opening day.... thousands of dudes wading through stinky swamps at low tide picking up their drowned muskrats... sitting on the tailgate skinning muskrat... BBQin them with some friends over a few brews... and now nobody does it... too busy with their computer games and whatnot. a real tragedy.

a damn shame.

(not really)

tradition is stupid.

-m

Though it has been almost 4 years now, I am still not over the fact that Hum broke up. My Launchcast station just played The Inuit Promise. Lyrics, for those who haven't heard it (possibly - nay, definitely, my favorite song of all time):

The Inuit Promise

I took a worn out strand of your cellophane hair and stretched it sideways
and oh my, my slip though between the seam with me
My brain stopped working from the cold
I sort of strayed from what we know

*

So I'll be like you and do what's right
and win a love I don't deserve out on the ice tonight
Teach me the bluest song you know
The moon ain't comin' up
and I swear to God tonight it feels like snow

*

I'm glad we got your hands warm so my arms can feel like trust again
I can promise true waves when the summer comes
the world still fits the same form we engraved when it all began
Maybe catch a new wave

Feels right

Feels right

*

So we ride whales and drag race time
and I draw fires from the traces of trilobyte hives
You sleep like I'm inside her womb
And you see clearly to
the silicon wasteland they left inside my mind

*

I'm glad we got your hands warm
so my arms can feel like trust again
I can promise true waves when the summer comes
The world still fits the same form we engraved when it all began
Maybe catch a new wave

*

We've lost the road now
Injecting charms
And we care for all of ours
We stand in rows now
Transfer alarms
Just like the Inuit with the promise song
to come down and see
To come down and see
To come down and see
To come down and see
*

(Your solvents frozen here on the petal rung)
(is all we have to see)
(Enlarged inside as we espy)
(the warming sea)
(Your breath diffused and never realized)
(aside from where the panicked hide)
(And I)
(just a subtle lift)
(provider on the other side)


Yowzah.. And remember, this is set to some of the most creative, most ass-kicking rock music of the 90's. My #2 favorite band of all-time.

I've had a productive night at work.

-m

Evil updates:

-Wait, what is this war about again?

-I'm sorry, what was that?

-The devil is among us. Or at least, among the Aussies.

-Some guy burned a hole in his carpet, and it looks like a crop circle. Definitely Evil.

-Stuff about Evil stuff

-More Evil stuff.

Geez. The Dubya is right, evil is afoot.

-m

-OK. So let's see...how would someone go about justifying an invasion of Syria? I mean, there is no despotic, poster-boy badguy - at least not one the average American is familiar with. And remember how long it took to mislead people into believing that Iraq has banned weapons? I don't think we'll be that patient. So, how can we put an face on Syria that will inspire the hatred of enough Americans to rationalize another war? Wait, I got it...

Nope, they beat me to it. The Dubya et al. have already figured that part out..This is brilliant..If we have 'scraps' of intelligence that indicate that Saddam & his baddie friends have fled to Syria with their nuclear/chemical/biological bombs under their arms, nobody could possibly question us going there next. At least not if they have bought the rest of this load of horseshit we've been getting for the last year or so. Oops, that bit about Syria supplying arms to Iraq wasn't true. Well, no matter...

And presumably, the bad guys will escape into Iran, next. Not sure how they're going to get to North Korea (swim?) - clearly, Bush should have named Syria the third member of the Axis of Evil, rather than North Korea.

I have to say, this is brilliant. Evil, fucking evil - but brilliant.

I read that the new Michael Moore film, which is due out 2 months before the next presidential election, will be the story of 2 men, both once 'troubled youths', both the sons of rich oil men, and their actions before and after 9/11. Should be good.

In other, less depressing (maybe) news:

-I don't know about this.

-I don't think these people are even kidding. At all..

-You know, had I not just seen Michael Moore's new documentary, 'Bowling for Columbine,' detailing, in part, the way in which Americans are literally scared into spending their money, perhaps this would be more funny and less sad.

-Unfortunately, I don't think these people are joking, either.

-I wonder if my friend Tiska knows these people.

-And here's the news from Oklahoma...

-m

-If this is all true (and I don't think Michael Moore is one to lie), things are really far, far, far, far, far, far worse than even the most cynical could have imagined.

-m