Peruvian Nights and Jamaican Days

CANADA HAS A PROBLEM AND NEEDS HELP..

Big stuff in Alberta.

Seriously.

-m

OK..

Tips on squirrel fixin's from Missoura..

1) Ok, I just got over any possible homesickness I may have had for Missouri

and

2) check out the first sentence in the "Cleaning up the meat" section..

finally

3) I'm ok with wild game, but the following recipe, from the website above, should never ever be served to me, in case you may have been thinking of it:

Squirrel Salad
Boil 6 squirrels until tender. The last five minutes of cooking time, add 3 eggs still in their shells. Remove squirrels and eggs from pot and let cool. De-bone squirrels. Peel eggs. In a food processor, grind meat and eggs separately. Place in a large bowl and with a spoon or fork, mix in mayonnaise or sandwich spread and pickle relish to desired consistency and taste. Serve on toast or crackers with your favorite garnish.

It's definitely out for Abbie, since it has mayonnaise. And I must say I'm just fundamentally opposed to putting boiled animals of any kind in a food processor, no matter how noble the objectives may be.

What kind of crackers would you serve this on? Chicken in a Biscuit? Maybe with some Grey Poupon on the side?? Also, if boiling squirrels really makes them tender, then that saying I've always heard, "Tougher than a boiled owl," really makes no sense, right?

-m

WELL...

We've had worse candidates. Remember 2000?

-m

WAIT A MINUTE...

Does it seem odd to anyone else that China is suddenly focusing on fertility treatments??

-m

TWO NEW PROBABLY-DISAPPOINTED-WEB-SEARCHING-PEOPLE

Here are highlights from the these-people-typed-this-stuff-into-search-engines-and-found-my-website files:

-johnny cash "flipping the bird"
-european girls interested in peruvian guys

I actually do have a picture of Johnny Cash flipping the bird. You know..if the person that searched for that is interested...maybe I could scan it..I think it was during his Tee Vee days.

European girls are NOT interested in Peruvian guys, OK? So just give up. You're doomed to lead a solitary life of boredom and sadness.

-m

I'M FAR FROM AN UNBIASED COMMENTATOR..

..but isn't it supposed to be impossible to tip these things..?

-m

LADDER SAFETY WARNING..

Dude. The guy mentioned in this article is my grandpa. He just randomly got a call out of the blue a few months ago. Guess he's getting an extra 15 minutes of fame..

-m

NEW STRONG BAD EMAIL...

Homestar has a classic line in this one. In my top 10 favorite Homestar quotes..

-m

BECAUSE IT'S LATE..

There are some things I've been noticing lately:

1) Pistachio pudding kicks ass, and nobody is sure why...

2) They put weird stuff way up on the top shelf (where you never look) at the grocery store. Seriously. Check it out next time you're there. Like patio furniture and shit. And lots of other stuff grocery stores aren't supposed to sell. Plus enormous rolls of waxed paper. Like industrial size. And big stuffed animals. It's like they stole stuff from Wal-Mart and that's where they hide it, because nobody ever thinks to look there.

and, finally,

3) People.......are........STUPID.....and seem to be getting stupider..

-m

KEYWORD SEARCHES O' THE DAY..

I swear I am not making these up..(more actual searches people did that led them to my blog):

-"jamaican party theme"
-"peruvian girls"
-"peruvian centipede"
-"order peruvian beer"
-"Jamaican porn"
-"Peruvian Girls" (twice)
-"outty cars"

Somebody please show me where the hell "outty cars" appears on my website.

-m

OH MAN...

Today I was working on my paper thingy. And I have most of my CDs on the computer as mp3s. And I was feeling like listening to Hum. So I loaded You'd Prefer an Astronaut and Downward is Heavenward and hit play. I didn't realize that I had it set on "shuffle" AND "repeat." So I listened to Hum for like 8 consecutive hours. I didn't get tired of them. But now I feel like I'm in OUTER FREAKING SPACE, ok?!? OK? And I want to write love poetry about spaceships and Eskimos. Innuits. Whatever. Not like they're going to get mad at me, since they don't even have computers..!

-ha...(like old people write after they write a sentence that is intended to be a joke "-ha!")

-ha.

k.

-m

THE COOLEST NAME FOR A DISEASE EVER..

It might be worth getting this disease just so you could call in to work and say "yeah..won't be coming in today..I have a bad case of the Monkeypox.."

Then again, it can be lethal, and it seems to be spreading and killing lots of wildlife, so maybe it's not a great thing. Maybe we could just swap names for it with chicken pox, then it would be good times..

-m