Peruvian Nights and Jamaican Days

-See? Told you Bush was starting to sound like a fanatical religious zealot...

-m

To hell with Chicago. I mean, don't get me wrong, I thought it was a pretty good movie...but..

Last night we saw Michael Moore's new Oscar-winning documentary, Bowling for Columbine. Holy Toledo. That was hands-down the best movie of the year. And beyond. Taken relative to Bowling for Columbine, Chicago seems like some sort of made-for-TV USA movie. I don't care if it isn't eligible, it should have won Best Picture, Achievment in Art Direction, Achievement in Cinematography, Directing, and certainly for Editing. A movie should make you feel something, and good art should make you question - both are soundly accomplished by this movie - to a degree that far surpasses any other movies this year, and any other movies I've seen in a long, long while. And it was all accomplished with no special effects, no glitz, no ritz, no movie stars (well, there was one, but I won't wreck the surprise by telling you who it was), no sex, no 120 db music shaking your innards - just a fat, middle-aged white guy with a camera. The place where we saw it was so packed that we ended up sitting on concrete stairs the entire 2 hours of the film. I never noticed. It was so utterly engaging. I (and the rest of the audience) was laughing deep belly laughs one minute, and near-crying (or actually crying) the next. It is absolutely amazing that Michael Moore could cover such a breadth of topic in such intimate detail, and do it in such an artistic way that he told such a tight story with that much power.

Highest recommendations...You have to see it..Easily the best documentary since "Nanook of the North," and the best movie, period, in a damned long time.

Hmm. I suck at writing reviews..My friend Bennet is much better at it..

-m

So. I guess I need to get the new White Stripes album. I hear all around that it is good - haven't heard much of it, since I never do the radio thing - and my Launchcast station seems to mostly play Smiths, Misfits, Johnny Cash, and Old 97's almost exclusively - weird playlist rules. I like how it does stuff like play Morrissey, and then immediately play the Smiths, or play Ben Folds, then play Ben Folds Five, or play Billy Bragg, then play Billy Bragg & the Blokes, and then Billy Bragg & Wilco, because it just doesn't get it...Computers are dumb.

But 'Tiska assures me that the new Stripes album is "substantially more rawkful than average." Good enough for me..

-Talk about your extreme sports!

-Wow, who would have believed THIS if you had told them 10 years ago?

-Just added to my Christmas list for next year, this book!

-This is either an outstanding example of situational irony, or a clever setup.

-I bet these people wouldn't be much fun at a party. Also, $19 per quart seems like alot for ice cream.

-12 lb. cracker, anyone.

-m

-Damn.

-m

OK. So here is my own attempt at mockery re: those stupid 'informative' graphics from http://www.ready.gov. If you haven't seen the website, you should check it out. It is truly unbelievable. Bear in mind, these are actual graphics from the actual gov't website (with my captions):



If terrorists attack, your biggest threat will clearly come from file cabinets and bookshelves.




If repeated plastic surgery has destroyed your face, you may want to consider wearing a surgical mask. Permanently.




Radiation cannot hurt you, as long as it is in one sealed room with no entrance, and you are in another sealed room with no entrance.




All of these things are sure signs of the evils of over-industrialized, technocratic society. I mean terrorism! Sure signs of terrorism!




Remember, terrorists hate us because we imperialistically impose our culture of fast food, crappy pop music, and awful sitcoms on the rest of the world. Those ungrateful bastards.




Most of the radiation will merely hit you in the crotch. Do not be intimidated.




As long as you are at least a half-block from a nuclear explosion, you will be fine. But two blocks would be better.




As noted earlier, you will be safe as long as you are at least 1 block from a nuclear blast.




If radiation mutates you to enormous proportions, you should seek out Professor Xavier's School for the Gifted.




Harmful radiation may melt all the features from your face and from those of your loved ones. Consider plastic surgery.




Just say "No!" to dead fish and birds.




Don't overdo the bean burritos, or you'll be sorry...




This graphic is currently out-of-order. We apologize for the inconvenience.




If the door is jammed, pry it open with a crowbar, or a big red arrow - whichever is handiest.




When using inhalants, think about what a great band Biohazard was.




If you live in Maryville, MO, and you need medical attention, you're shit out of luck.





If you are Jeff Vanek, setting yourself on fire will not improve your grade in Bauman's class.



-m

-This is the saddest thing I have heard in a long time.

-m

-For those of you who feel Republicans are morally superior to Democrats...Check this out..When an unelected president launches unilaterally into an unpopular war, and a company (Kellogg, Brown and Root, subsidiary of Halliburton) once run by the vice president is selected for a "cost-plus" contract created by the war, you just have to wonder, don't you? I mean, war profiteering is bad enough, but when it's war profiteering by companies close to the people who created the war....sheesh.

-Cat band.

-Everyone involved with this should be shot.

-This is the greatest story of the year. First reported in Weekly World News. If you see a DeLorean sitting around...

-Donald Rumsfield may be the second dumbest/evilest person in our government.

-Here are some potential new Bush appointees.

-For those who would like to lend a helping hand in the fight for peace..

-This has forever spoiled Ernie's rubber duck song for me...

-I think we've all experienced this at one time or another...


-m