Peruvian Nights and Jamaican Days

ok. so. by way of explanation, Fairly Crass was the name of a band, an extremely wimpy band, albeit, made up of myself and Steve Schnell. hence the email address. the name Fairly Crass originates from a phrase someone used in a conversation we had when i lived in D.C. one summer. Interestingly, another potential name for this band, "The McKenzie Funk Adventure," also came from that summer. The words "McKenzie Funk - Adventure" and then a phone number were printed on a piece of paper on my cubicle wall. i decided that sounded like a great band name. then, the last week I worked there, I discovered that there was a person named "McKenzie Funk" who worked in the Adventure Magazine division (I worked at National Geographic). in the end, we decided there was nothing adventurous, funky, or McKenzie-ish about us, so we chose Fairly Crass.

Anyway, "Peruvian Nights" was the name of one of our songs, containing the lyrics 'Peruvian nights and those Jamaican days, learning about your European ways. Eating a sandwich with L. Ron Hubbard; cleaning my plate just like he's my mother..'
and it goes on for a couple of minutes about L. Ron, etc.

we had lots of other good songs, such as "Robert Johnson's Oatmeal Creme Pies," "14 Goddamned Mouth-breathers," "Abe Lincoln," and a couple of others. none was all that complete. nothing that ever amounted to a full album (which would have been named, likely, "hello white man banana"), or even an EP, for that matter. probably the crowning achievement for Fairly Crass came when we were writing lyrics for "Abe Lincoln," when Steve came up with the lyrics ....'cuz you got a hat like a high-heeled walking shoe...'
it was the best band i was ever in. we broke up officially when steve moved to pennsylvania. we had considered adding my friend, Bennet, but band night was Thursday night, and Bennet was all, "ooooooh, nooooo, I'm a film critic on Thursday nights...." plus, then we would have run the risk of actually being decent.

as far as i know, this is the most complete biography ever published of the now defunct Fairly Crass.

I was in this other band, for an evening, once, with my friend, Spencer - a real live guitar player - and we called ourselves "Pez de Spencer." coming up with that clever name was pretty much the high point of our 3-hour career.

also recorded a solo song once, called "a late november walk in the woods." 59 seconds. instrumental. i thought it was good.

p.s. - i'm not sure whats up with the column on the left. until i figure it out, just deal with it, ok?