Peruvian Nights and Jamaican Days

So, Googlism is a spinoff of Google, in case you're not familiar, where you enter your name, or any random word, etc., and it returns any matches of that name or word plus the word "is" and the words that follow it on a website, somewhere. The result is a sort of weird poetry. When I enter my name, I find that (my comments in italics):

"-mark andersen is helping to redefine the age" (I'm certain of it)
"-mark andersen is the co" (uh)
"-mark andersen is in his seventeenth year as the phillies assistant athletic trainer" (then why ain't I rich?)
"-mark andersen is looking at holding an umpires course" (yup)
"-mark andersen is co" (eh)
"-mark andersen is" (is what?)
"-mark andersen is a longtime community activist in washington dc through his work as outreach coordinator for emmaus services for the aging he" (who are "the aging he"?)
"-mark andersen is in orlando" (liar)
"-mark andersen is quoted as saying about lyle's behavior during the shopping excursion" (lyle who?)
"-mark andersen is an activist and someone who finds a lot of meaning in punk rock…one of these people that says "punk rock saved my life"" (yup)
"-mark andersen is an activist and someone who finds a lot of meaning in punk rock" (a little redundant..)
"-mark andersen is still touring with his book" (cool. am I rich yet?)
"-mark andersen is one of the premier singer/songwriters on the internet" (Google obviously knows about "A Late November Walk in the Woods")
"-mark andersen is a scientist at hortresearch in auckland" (maybe that is a time warp thing..)
"-mark andersen is very eclectic" (yeah)
"-mark andersen is probably the best" (certainly)
"-mark andersen is conducting the election and the cedar grove canvassing board will approve the" (hmmm)
"-mark andersen is a professor in the department of human movement" (yeah. human bowel movement..)

Clearly, I am either 'co' or 'the co.' I'm not sure what that means, but I think it implies that I should be richer than I am. It is true, I do find alot of meaning in punk rock. I'll let you know about the umpires course. It sounds cool. Not sure which Lyle it's talking about. Lyle Burgher? I don't recall ever shopping with him, except for beer at the Maryville Pub. Everything I do, I do for "the aging he."

Googlism is useful if you're looking for answers. For instance, if you're wondering who Norm MacDonald is, simply enter his name, click 'who,' and there you go:

"-norm macdonald is available for $25k and dave attell is a steal at $5k" OR
"-norm macdonald is god"


or, if you're wondering what 'morality' is, exactly, simply hit Googlism, and you'll find that:

"-morality is those restraints we apply to our natures for the benefit of others; we suffer so the community prospers" OR (as I prefer it, personally)
"-morality is a venereal disease" OR
"-morality is arbitrary"

I suggest you direct all future questions and uncertainties to Googlism, and randomly select a response. I'm sure it will be 100% accurate.

-m