Peruvian Nights and Jamaican Days

e & m

I wonder what kind of guy E is. You know..the frontman for The Eels. He seems like he's probably kind of a sad guy, but you know, kind of funny, too. I think I'ma interview him. On this blog. I'll work on arranging that. Meanwhile, I think I'll interview m, a member of the most underrated rock and roll band of all time, Fairly Crass - a guy who was once referred to by John Lennon himself as "the supreme godfather of Rawk of all-time." Here goes:

Peruvian Nights: So...m...how does it feel to have been a part of one of the most influential bands of our time...

m: Um..well..of course I'm flattered when bands that I respect..y'know..bands like Wilco, and Hum, and Slobberbone, and Negativland, and Social Distortion, and The Beatles...say how much we influenced their style. Though I have to say, our thing kind of falls flat when others attempt it.

Peruvian Nights: Sure. I can see that. In your song, 'Abe Lincoln,' there is a line that says, "...you got a hat like a high-heeled walking shoe..." What sort of feeling were you trying to inspire with that..?

m: Well, I think that Abraham Lincoln's stovepipe hat is a sort of metaphor for all the higher goods in this world. And saying it was like a 'high-heeled walking shoe' is sort of pointing out the fact that while Abe was high-minded and noble, he was also very practical. Plus, Steve was really wasted when he wrote that.

Peruvian Nights: You don't say..The song, "Robert Johnson's Oatmeal Creme Pie...." please explicate..

m: Yeah. There's actually a funny story behind that song. See, I was eating an oatmeal creme pie one day, and I was thinking about how Robert Johnson never got to eat oatmeal creme pies, on account of they hadn't been invented yet, and I was thinking, y'know, how that would make me have the blues, too.

Peruvian Nights: Wow....Fascinating stuff. So, your guitar-playing has been called "Doc Watson meets Jimi Hendrix with undertones of Blind Blake.."

m: Yeah..That seems right.

Peruvian Nights: During your long, sometimes rocky journey through rock and roll, what would you say was your favorite part?

m: Oh booze and chicks. For sure, man.

Peruvian Nights: Yeah. I can imagine. So how was it working with Steve?

m: Oh he was great. At first, y'know. After awhile, he got a big head though. And he was always messing around, y'know? And I would be like, 'Steve, do you want to rawk, or do you want to suck?'

Peruvian Nights: And how did he respond?

m: Oh he'd freak out sometimes and start breaking shit...Like throw all our amps and Fenders and Stratocoasters and high-hats and synthesizers and tambourines and kickers and whammy bars out the window..

Peruvian Nights: That must have been tough to deal with...

m: Yeah. But you know, that's rock and roll, man. Someone has to be the bigger person, and make the sacrifices, if you're going to be great.

Peruvian Nights: I have to say, people are always asking me, "When is Fairly Crass getting back together..." or "Will there be a Fairly Crass reunion tour?" *aside to m* These are usually hot girls. That ask that.

m: Oh no way man. Better to burn bright and then explode than to gradually melt away into a pile of gooey liquid...I always say. Besides, I'm in a new band now.

Peruvian Nights: Oh, I knew you had a pretty successful solo career for awhile there, but I wasn't aware of the new band..

m: Yeah..It's kind of a secret..Keep it under wraps. We're called Kapitalist. We're kind of a neo-conservative punk band.

Peruvian Nights: That sounds fascinating..and what kinds of territory are you exploring with this new music?

m: Oh you know. High taxes...the fact that kids aren't allowed to pray in school...owning assualt rifles..stupid liberals...the stupid U.N...um..and immigrants..

Peruvian Nights: Wow. That sounds cutting edge.

m: Yeah. It's badass. But in a 'family values' kind of way.

Peruvian Nights: Well, I know you're a busy man..thanks for talking with me today.

m: Rawk.

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Tune in next time I'll be interviewing E.

-m