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Sunday, September 12, 2004

OLYMPICS

I failed to catch Olympics fever this year. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever had Olympics fever. Maybe I was immunized against it when I was little. I heard the badminton was pretty hilarious. I kind of wish I'd seen it. I think they should also feature "American Rules" badminton. In American Rules badminton, you would only be allowed to use one hand for your racket. The other hand would have to be holding a jostled, foaming, lukewarm Busch Light. Instead of an indoor arena, you would play in someone's actual backyard. Someone that has a dog and isn't good at keeping the poop scooped. And there would be hazards placed immediately next to the court, like lawn chairs. An added dimension would be that someone would have to climb the fence and dodge the neighbor's dog, to retrieve the shuttlecock. That would be way awesomer to watch. Actually, while I'm on the topic, here are some of the sports on my wishlist for the 2008 summer Olympics:

-Lawn Darts
-Hopscotch
-Tetherball
-Rodeo (Brazil would kick our arses at this one!)
-Dodgeball (how great would this be?!?!)
-Stock Car Racing (this was G-Had's idea - he also suggested billiards, if I remember right)
-Jacks
-Shuffleboard
-Pac-Man
-Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots
-Hungry Hungry Hippos
-Darts
-Beer Mat Flipping
-Marbles
-Bumper Boats
-Miniature Golf
-Fishing
-Knife-throwing

Synchronized diving my ass...and don't give me that crap about how much talent or strength or training it takes...I'm sure it took Ashrita Furman years of training to be able to carry a brick with one hand 85.05 miles, but that doesn't mean it should be an Olympic sport.

-m




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