Peruvian Nights and Jamaican Days

FIT AS A FIDDLE..

Well, we finally got our results from the health screening we took awhile back (I still have the bruise in my arm from where they stabbed me with the needle).

It appears as though I am awesome (or aweseom):

HDL "Good Cholesterol" - 63 (Which is higher than the recommended range - more is better, right?)
LDL "Bad Cholesterol" - 81
Total Cholesterol - 159

Everything else is pretty much in the recommended range, except I have high total iron, high transferrin saturation, high total bilirubin, high ALT-SGPT (whatever the hell that is), and low unbound IBC..

I don't know what any of that means. For now, I will just assume that it means I am a perfect specimen of humankind, and continue my strict regimen of sitting on my ass doing GIS, eating lots of eggs, bacon, sausage, butter, and pizza, enjoying at least one serving of whisky, wine, beer, gin, or brandy each day, copious amounts of strong coffee, and sleeping an average of about 4 hours/night.

In fact, I think I'ma go fix me a fried egg sammich right now...

Damn. No bread. OK, fried egg sammich sans bread.

-m