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Sunday, December 26, 2004
OK. CHRISTMAS DONE. PLEASE..
Man. I've probably watched at least 8 hours of TeeVee over break. I know there are probably lots of people that watch this much every day, but it's probably more than I've watched in the last 3 months. If you exclude what I watched on election night, I probably haven't watched that much TV in the previous 6 months combined. Most of my TV this past week was spent watching Seinfeld on DVD, Three's Company, Sanford & Son, some show about a milk camel giving birth, and the news.
Who says advertising doesn't work...? When I see a TV commercial for an SUV that has a built-in gaming console, it makes me want to run right out and buy a horse.
Lessons thusfar from the holidays:
1) I don't care for peanut-carrot salad (ingredients: peanuts, carrots, mayonnaise - grind the first two into cubic, maggot-sized chunks, and mix with mayonnaise)
2) Man. I hate Oprah. Always have, but the latest reason - something I read in the paper about how a nod from Oprah takes books from obscurity to long-time bestsellers. Pretty obvious, but now demonstrated scientifically, whatever that means. I'm not comfortable with anyone having that kind of sway over what does and does not get read. Particularly someone who may or may not have book deals with some of the same publishers who publish the books on her book club list. Also, what about all those poor people with genuinely good books that get bumped by the ones Oprah fawns over?
3) I still have so much to read. My brother-in-law (the literature PhD) got the Book Lover's Edition of Trivial Pursuit, and I went one-on-one against him. We quit after a few hours - we kept stumbling on questions about mysteries and other genre fiction. I've never read a mystery, because I hear they're as addictive as heroin. Not interested in that type of dependency. My foe had 4 (or maybe it was 5) pies to my 2 when we quit.
4) I've had enough White People food to last me awhile. By "White People food," I mean, in this case, 'ham and potatoes.' I don't feel like I need to eat either of those two particular food products anytime in the near future. No more dessert bars, either.
4a) Old folks' home food sucks. I had not one, not two, but three meals in assisted living/retirement homes, and decided that it would be better to die before I need that kind of arrangement, than to have to eat that stuff. Either that, or I'll have to move to some country or region where people appreciate flavors besides "Assloads O' Salt." Probably worst among the meals was the Salisbury Steak I had at a retirement home where my grandparents live, in Kearney, Nebraska. They call it "Salisbury Steak," because it sounds better than calling it "Hockey Puck-Like Hamburgers Drizzled With Rehydrated Powdered Gravy Mix."
5 (unrelated to the holidays)) I get about 7% of my visits to this blog from folks from Jamaica. Unfortunately for them, they won't find the "Jamaican porn" they are looking for here, although, it did take one of them, according to the trackng software, "15 hours 30 mins 1 sec" of viewing to decided that my page did not include any actual Jamaican porn.
I bought some Corn Husker's Lotion, because 1) my hands were getting dry and cracking open and bleeding, and 2) it's what my grandpa has always used and it comes in this old-fashioned looking bottle, and 3) I need to get my hands healed up before Abbie returns, or I will be under a constant barrage of nagging from "Wife #2." Jenn said the Corn Husker's Lotion made me smell like "old people." I said, "cool."
-m
Man. I've probably watched at least 8 hours of TeeVee over break. I know there are probably lots of people that watch this much every day, but it's probably more than I've watched in the last 3 months. If you exclude what I watched on election night, I probably haven't watched that much TV in the previous 6 months combined. Most of my TV this past week was spent watching Seinfeld on DVD, Three's Company, Sanford & Son, some show about a milk camel giving birth, and the news.
Who says advertising doesn't work...? When I see a TV commercial for an SUV that has a built-in gaming console, it makes me want to run right out and buy a horse.
Lessons thusfar from the holidays:
1) I don't care for peanut-carrot salad (ingredients: peanuts, carrots, mayonnaise - grind the first two into cubic, maggot-sized chunks, and mix with mayonnaise)
2) Man. I hate Oprah. Always have, but the latest reason - something I read in the paper about how a nod from Oprah takes books from obscurity to long-time bestsellers. Pretty obvious, but now demonstrated scientifically, whatever that means. I'm not comfortable with anyone having that kind of sway over what does and does not get read. Particularly someone who may or may not have book deals with some of the same publishers who publish the books on her book club list. Also, what about all those poor people with genuinely good books that get bumped by the ones Oprah fawns over?
3) I still have so much to read. My brother-in-law (the literature PhD) got the Book Lover's Edition of Trivial Pursuit, and I went one-on-one against him. We quit after a few hours - we kept stumbling on questions about mysteries and other genre fiction. I've never read a mystery, because I hear they're as addictive as heroin. Not interested in that type of dependency. My foe had 4 (or maybe it was 5) pies to my 2 when we quit.
4) I've had enough White People food to last me awhile. By "White People food," I mean, in this case, 'ham and potatoes.' I don't feel like I need to eat either of those two particular food products anytime in the near future. No more dessert bars, either.
4a) Old folks' home food sucks. I had not one, not two, but three meals in assisted living/retirement homes, and decided that it would be better to die before I need that kind of arrangement, than to have to eat that stuff. Either that, or I'll have to move to some country or region where people appreciate flavors besides "Assloads O' Salt." Probably worst among the meals was the Salisbury Steak I had at a retirement home where my grandparents live, in Kearney, Nebraska. They call it "Salisbury Steak," because it sounds better than calling it "Hockey Puck-Like Hamburgers Drizzled With Rehydrated Powdered Gravy Mix."
5 (unrelated to the holidays)) I get about 7% of my visits to this blog from folks from Jamaica. Unfortunately for them, they won't find the "Jamaican porn" they are looking for here, although, it did take one of them, according to the trackng software, "15 hours 30 mins 1 sec" of viewing to decided that my page did not include any actual Jamaican porn.
I bought some Corn Husker's Lotion, because 1) my hands were getting dry and cracking open and bleeding, and 2) it's what my grandpa has always used and it comes in this old-fashioned looking bottle, and 3) I need to get my hands healed up before Abbie returns, or I will be under a constant barrage of nagging from "Wife #2." Jenn said the Corn Husker's Lotion made me smell like "old people." I said, "cool."
-m
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